Had a good day except for one incident

This didn’t erase my good day but it was a little disturbing. I was in Sacramento today with my two sisters visiting my step mom and her boyfriend. The day went well; we chatted for awhile then went out to eat Mexican food and then came back and talked some more. It was all a bit much for me so I took a couple naps in the corner while the women talked.

At one point, while I was awake, the subject turned to all the crazy stuff going on around our area. Like an Amazon driver being shot to death while delivering a package and a mailman being robbed and how people are stealing mail and breaking into mailboxes. My step mom brought up a case where a guy shot three people to death in a park across town. She brought up the fact that the gunman was mentally ill and she said with hatred, “Yeah, it’s those damn mentally ill that are causing trouble and going around killing people,” and then she went on a mini-rant about the mentally ill. I just sat there and didn’t say anything. I’ve known her 35 years, she obviously knows about my mental illness. It was ugly, she didn’t even act like I was there or that it might offend me or hurt my feelings; I felt terrible. My sisters said, “It’s only some of the mentally ill, not all of them.” And to my step mothers credit, she agreed with that.

But I’m learning a lot about my family. I thought my sisters were cool with my schizophrenia, they always treated me well and invited me everywhere with their friends and husbands and used to come to family group therapy. II’ve had schizophrenia 43 years (and have never gotten violent by the way), and it never occurred to me until just like three years ago that my oldest sister would think I’m crazy. But I learned 3 years ago she thinks I’m crazy. It just never occurred to me before; she still treats me alright though.

And I finally picked up on the fact just about 4 months ago that my next oldest sister now has issues with my mental illness. I don’t know exactly what she thinks about it but she is guarded around me and is throwing the word “crazy” around a suspiciously lot of times and seems to be looking down on me.

It’s all a bit much. I’m getting overwhelmed; the roommate has zero respect for me, when the neighbors think of me, they laugh. My boss laughs at me. It’s hard to have any self esteem or confidence or self respect. I read all this inspirational things that say, “Believe in yourself, even if no one else does,” but it’s hard to think I’m worthy of respect when everybody around me treats me with such disrespect. I try to tell myself I’m as good as anyone else but maybe everyone around me are all right and I’m wrong.

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No you are definitely worthy of respect and kindness.

I get looked down upon by family and wait staff at cafes and today I was walking anc disrespectful kids almost ran me over with bikes and a woman looked down at me with hatred.
Not nice to get treated that way which is why I isolate.

I’m going to try to make myself go out a bit more and endure if I can but it’s not ok for them to treat that way.

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@77nick77 I wished you had a nice day in Sacramento beeing happy with family and satisfies with the accomplishment you’ve made. It is not very nice of your mom and sis to talk like that about MI, while you there.Cheer up, they never ment to hurt you and is easy for media to ponit to any misbehave person and label them amd put everyone into the same basket.
I do not think “crazy” would apply for sz.

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Yeah, that’s disappointing behaviour from your step mother. But maybe she doesn’t consider you to be mentally ill or you blend in so well, she forgot.

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I agree with @everhopeful
My brother thinks of me as mentally Ill when he’s upset at me or when I’m feeling manic but otherwise he doesn’t consider me to being “crazy”

Maybe you blend in so well that she doesn’t consider yourself as a violent or disruptive mentally ill person because you are not, if this makes sense.

I know you were hurt by it just like my one aunt hurt me when she actually downplayed my illness as a weakness!

“Normal” people sometimes don’t get it and that’s ok

But I’m sure that she cares about you and so do your sisters

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While at work, people gossip a lot behind the back. They all gossip, about each and they do not realize it.As I am sure they gossip about me, I care less. I realized it is just the way they are, they have nothing better to talk about, but to point another.
Things like thid happends regulary between normies, it is just that sz makes you feel less and it hurts more.

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