The only person in the world whos 21-30 years old that I’m truly friends with is my cousin but I haven’t seen him in quite a few years. Hes an old soul like I am. My family is older, my first cousins are all around 50 years old, my parents gave birth to me when my mom was 43 and my dad 40, my sister is older. Ive always been the youngest. In therapy group I am much more of a success in the older peoples group that the younger peoples group. There is quite a them here. I do get along with young kids like my friend Dan is 20 and one of my best friends. And some of my cousins are young I get along with them. I brought up this to my therapist she says "you are very mature this is true, but I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that all your abuse was caused by people around your own age. And literally 99% of the people around my age abused me in one way or another back when I was ill. Now they don’t abuse me anymore if theyre around my age but I still just feel odd around those age groups of people. My friend who I’m going for a walk with tomorrow at 1, she said in group the other day “JON IS A SUPER OLD OLD SOUL”…really empathetically. Its not that I dislike or think less of people my age but I just don’t feel right with them. For whatever reason. I really am excited to go hiking with this woman tomorrow shes great, she suffers from similar afflictions as I do and shes a great support. I dunno theres definitely some significance of her showing up in my life twice. Last time I saw her she was really struggling with menopausal symptoms to go along with her bi-polar. But I think shes past menopause now. I kind of stopped keeping in touch with her because she was struggling but I am so grateful she is back in my life. She looked pretty good when I saw her the other day. I just feel very comfortable with her. I dunno if shes too old being nearly 2x my age to do anything “romantic” with. I know she likes me a lot, the ball feels like its in my court, and Ill make my judgements based on how anything goes. But no matter what I’m happy shes in my life and I hope I don’t ruin anything with her by saying the wrong thing. When I first met her she introduced me to her son (whos gay and 1 year younger than me) and said “This is Jon and he has a ton of game!!” I dunno why she said that to him but yeah. Well anyways, well see how it goes tomorrow. I’m taking her on the best hiking trail around. She was in the hospital about a month ago she said. She broke up with her girlfriend she said (shes bisexual). I had a long talk with my therapist today on the phone and she called me “awesome” and gave me good insights, compliments and advice. I really get along with people who are 31+. Hasn’t always been that way but now I am mature. Well that’s all I have to say. I wonder if being exposed more to older people increases maturity…well definitely does…and ive been exposed to people older than me more than your average individual since I was always shunned by my peers my age…always my friends in psych wards and IOP’s, even a rehab my closest friend there was the one guy who was 50 when everyone else was 30 and under. My best friend is 32 in 8 days.
Yeah and I’m 27 if you didn’t know.
Well that’s all I have to say about that…(forrest gump accent)
