Adulthood is weird

In a lot of ways I still feel and think like I did as a teenager. Same insecurities, same shyness, fear of people. I still deal with some situations like I’m a kid. But on the other hand, adult responsibilities are thrust on me. Things need to be done whether I’m shy or don’t feel like doing them or they seem impossible. Like going by myself to the Social Security office and sitting in a packed room for one or two hours. It’s unavoidable.Or taking my car into the mechanic.

When I’m faced with something like that my reaction invariably is to flash back in my mind of how I would have handled that before I got sick. I’ve tried to explain this to therapists before because they think I do things like a teenager too. But that was the last time I felt normal and that’s why I use those times 35 years ago to deal with current problems. I don’t know if anybody else is like this.

Yeah thats kinda how I am,one thing that ive noticed is before I went waay downhill I had a small group of friends that were constantly with me like we pretty much lived together.

You know when your in junior high and your friends become your family?like that, so I always had a support group with me everywhere I went.

I don’t think that its just us thats like this I think its normal to feel insecure when you don’t have a support group with you.

I was sitting in the Colorado springs airport waiting for like 3hrs and I noticed pretty much everyone that saw me sitting there watching them walk all the way down the hall developed some nervous tick because they felt my eyes on them.

Even the big tough secure dudes that you would think are beyond that,it’s just our nature man.

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How many of your peers do you actually know that haven’t been in a long term relationship and or have not had any kids of their own to raise. Those are the two biggest factors that I have seen that separate the different levels of maturity among us peers. I know a few normal people my age that don’t act as responsible as those who have been married and have kids to raise. You’ve heard adults tell other adults to “Act your age” well to me that’s mostly what it is, a big act. Or someone will tell you to just act normal, well, same thing applies there as well. Though It is really more of a discipline then an act at this point.

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Like you act like you was brought up to act.

it is pretty normal…it is hard to make rational decisions when you are feeling awkward…
whether you are a teenager or an adult… :man:
a trick is when you are feeling difficult…think back to a time when you found yourself being…’ calmly empowered ’ then transfer that to the present situation.
remember everyone feels difficult at some time.
take care :alien:

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hmmm @77nick77 never really thought about it until now…having dealt with a panic disorder and overcoming it I had to totally rethink how I deal with the public you know? I just tell myself so what if I have a panic attack and the fear goes away. just like that…I have been having to go to the dentist a whole bunch of times recently and I find the old panic still waiting but I just smile and bear it…so what if you are nervous…it will pass…just like that.

Most of us continue to have the ego functions and (arrested) developmental maturity we had at the onset of the illness. My intellect continued to evolve, but my “emotional intelligence” (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence) hit a wall.

Once I was stabilized on meds after almost slipping totally under the waves for the fifth time in 2003, I decide to get back on my developmental path.

@77nick77 , you have summed up my life really. I suspect most people with mental illness are the same.

I think on my teenage years with fondness, even though I was a nervous wreck and on the verge of getting sz. But life with my parents was safe and without responsibilities, it was the ‘good old days’. Nowadays in married life I have to do the shopping and bill paying myself whereas before Dad did everything and I could stay home. I wish I didn’t need to go out, but I have to face it head on now - even though I still feel like a teenager. :frowning:

Still think I’m stuck in some adolescent frame of mind. I have since 2001 or so. My inner child’s 9 so my last therapist said. Weird as at 3 I was 3 going on 30. I guess most of us here had to grow up fast and caused most of our problems now.

You and most of the “the boys riding on my big yellow, mental school bus.” But… I am the driver, and regardless of what they think and want, I decide where the bus is going.

This is straight out of Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, a fine method for getting oneself back on the developmental track. See ACT | Association for Contextual Behavioral Science.

Does that effect other types of psychotherapies like inner child work?

Yes; on can meld Bern’s / Harris’s / Whitfield’s / Bradshaw’s / Mellody’s “inner parent / inner adult / inner child” schematic with the ACT schematic.

So am I screwed if I’m haven’t had Bern’s / Harris’s / Whitfield’s / Bradshaw’s / Mellody’s "inner parent / inner adult / inner child work?

So am I screwed if I’m haven’t had and can’t get Bern’s / Harris’s / Whitfield’s / Bradshaw’s / Mellody’s "inner parent / inner adult / inner child work?

Damn the time limit on editing here!.

I’m having a hard time with being an adult right now as well.

Really young toddlers seem to have an instinctual level of maturity already present in them. I sense this anyway. They are most impressionable and they really are so sensitive to the psyches of others I think in order to assemble a personal reaction and system to categorize even the mentally disturbed in the crowd as a defense against possible dangers associated with being that sensitive, so they close the doors that lead to places in their minds that have been negatively affected by the feelings of those types of vibrations (vibes) of others. I am too disturbed around them, thinking that I will cause them to close doors in reaction to my disturbed presence associated with this MI. Do you find them to be sensitive to any inner turmoil we may express just by way of our giving off vibes when in their presence?

This reminds me of a song by the band: Earth, Wind, and Fire. Where in the lyrics say that “a child is born with a heart of gold , but the ways of thier world makes their hearts grow so cold”.

Earth, Wind and Fire - "That’s The Way of The World …

I think toddlers and kids in general are always more intelligent then we give them credit for… and then we use education to dumb them down…

Don’t be worried about being around kids… I find they are also more open to different people and far more understanding…

LOVE hanging with my young niece and nephew… they are 6 and 9 now… but even as toddlers… they were pretty bright… and not afraid of me.

Not necessarily. But what a lot of therapists find is that IC work clarifies the issues for the CBT and MBCT skills utilizations.