So I need to get all this out cause I’m sitting here drinking a beer, listening to behind blue eyes and totally numb despite life. I’ve now allowed a meth head to stay in my car cause his sister kicked him out cause he was high and masturbating naked on the couch at 10am. He just got on my case cause I told my therapist and my sister that he was doing meth and why he got kicked out. And in that conversation with my therapist it came up that my sister is smoking pot and happens to already have a cps case under her belt for smoking pot and I had to tell her that I let it slip to my therapist, but hey what am I suppose to do, I needed to get it out cause I had weed addiction before and its not the easiest thing when Its in your house. And than I’m losing my physical senses, I can barley smell, taste only certain things, and I cant feel anything when people touch me. And I’m losing my emotional feelings because all I can feel is a numbness that seems to rain over my life unless I’m crying. And why am I crying, its because I feel I should sympathize with God, because for some reason I feel my worthless life could actually bring him comfort when I’m a sinner and don’t seem to be learning from any of the mistakes I made before. So why should I even try, I’m drinking when I don’t drink because my head is telling me I’m depressed when there’s no tears, no feelings of sadness, not even a hint of what depression use to mean for me. I am numb, I am a numb mess with no one to talk to except for strangers on a website that happen to share a common issue that’s pulled me away from reality and normality, and into a world where I don’t belong anywhere… There’s more, as you who are reading this may know, there’s always more, but I’m giving up right now on even trying to get it out… So that’s my rant on the whateverness of my life in a 2 day period…
Wait. You are far from worthless.
Don’t give up ItsMe. You may be experiencing negative symptoms. I am sorry all of this is happening to you right now. Hopefully, it will pass. I know it is a horrible feeling. But, we are with you.
Life is sh*t.
That’s why the meth head was stoned out of his head while masturbating. It’s why your sister is smoking pot. Its why you had a weed addiction, drink alcohol and feel numb. It’s why most people have some sort of vice, habit or addiction.
Best wishes,
Padster
well do you know what is bothering you so much to make you feel severely depressed?