I need help and i won't get it

Unusual Beliefs
1

Im not sick and i need help, but there is no help.

I quit wondering why it was happening, i used to but it’s obvious why now, it’s just evil.

They showed me to, i could have believed i was sick but they just kept showing me things, it would be so easy to think i was sick, knowing is tough, very hard. It would have been great thinking i was sick, i could have dealt with that no problem, but this ■■■■ no way.

I wish i could show people what has happened, how they showed me it was them, but i can’t. My life is a twilight zone episode, a horror novel or movie, it’s so crazy and bad.

I can’t get into the logistics of course, wish i could but i can’t, and all that i have is theories, a thousand theories as to who, how, and why, endless questions and wondering, everyday i go on this way.

At least i can say it is someone, and somehow, for some reason, at least i can say that although i at times don’t want to, the knowing is hard and makes you feel sick.

I need help but it won’t come, it’s quicksand and i feel as if i am almost done and going under finally. There is no help for problems like this, it’s just me and them, them and i for those who really love proper grammar, rest of my life, all that i have now is the end to look forward to.

Burnt to a crisp, left in a pile of ashes, beaten and bruised, brain damaged and traumatized, left ill and negative, nothing feels right or good, i don’t smile or laugh anymore. It’s all gone, nothing is left, it’s a wasteland for me, there is nothing here and nothing is moving, and i can’t get out.

And the list of symptoms can be so very stupid, lack of motivation, expressionless, things like that are just so stupid, of course those things happen, because im being butchered and it’s gone on so long. Just imagine the “symptoms” of being held captive and maimed repeatedly, and imagine them showing you several times what they can do and do much of the time.

Invisible torture, torment, that would cause several symptoms wouldn’t it. Just stupid.

It gets worse as well, no one gives a ■■■■ at all, in fact you get pelted for being this way by most people, even though most think you are very sick they sure as ■■■■ don’t act like it do they. In fact they hate me for it to be honest, you’ll get your ass ■■■■■■■ kicked if you are sick most of the time, and that makes it even worse because i know im not sick at all.

Im not sick. They, whoever, have me in their grasp and are hurting me and have very long. I need help but cannot get it. Im sinking beneath the surface now.

2

Sometimes it’s a case of you can’t always get what you want but you get what you need with therapy and meds. Back in the day I was beyond defensive to any of the professionals that saw me. It would pretty much take the inter session just to get my name rank and serial number. I still deflect with humour often. I even have masters degrees in sarcasm.

Comes down It takes time to build up trust with the therapist, It takes time to start feeling like it’s helping. There is like hundreds of different types of therapies http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_psychotherapies
And wikipedias list is not a complete list

Meds and therapies are also not the only choice as you probably seen by a few alternatives on the board. Yes it’s extremely overwhelming but all comes down to you take what works for you. There is indeed help for you out there but you got to put something of yourself into it too.

1 Like
3

Pans, I did not respond to this thread because it is too long. I have a difficulty reading long posts. Also I found it was hard to get the meaning of this post. You’d better write short posts if you want to get more response from other members.

5

Pans you’ll be healthy one day and have faith in this. Trust people. Start it from your family members, then to friends and others around you.

I have following questions for you. If you feel comfortable answering them, I would like to hear from you.

  • How many siblings do you have and with whom you go best?
  • What about your Mom and Dad? Are you all living together?
  • How many friends do you have?
  • Last question is how many times do you have interaction with other humans in a day? This is not the interaction with people through online channel.

@Dreamscape Sorry I mistakenly hit reply to your post when I was replying to Pans post.

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6

You can’t be healthy if your dead, or forced to take harmful drugs the rest of your life.

I have people who call themselves brothers, they are not though, they don’t give a ■■■■ about me in the least.

Dad abandoned me when i was eighteen, i’ve only talked to him once since, my mother is a psychopath and she is evil, im forced to stay with her and my shitty brothers. No love in the family, none.

  1. Who needs friends when you are being tortured to death? What am i going to do? Watch the game maybe? Go out to eat? What do i need ■■■■■■■ friends for? I don’t even smile anymore, they are killing me. That would make for some great convo to, “so what do you do for a living?” Ill say “well, they gave me disability when what appeared to be demons ruined my life and started trying to make me commit suicide, it’s been hell.”

1 time. I go to the store to buy smokes usually, or to pick up different things. I don’t care to interact with “folks” these days. One of these last times im walking into the goddamn grocery store and i see the horrible magazines sitting there and there it was on the back staring right at me, just the large word “WITCHES” on the back of it, oh it just makes you feel great after running into them you know, just ■■■■■■■ great. yeah, i don’t go out much. But who needs contact when you are never alone though right? Ill be outside at night smoking and they’ll be there as usual making me think of getting stabbed to death by several robed and hooded figures, who really needs contact when they are always with you. I can’t even laugh at rich people orgies without them hurting my spine, they just reach on in there and grab it and hurt it and i start gasping for air and choking. Wtf?

7

They never stop do they? Teamwork gets results, and there are always plenty more of them than there is of you-right?
Why the heck do they feel that if they are so gosh darn great and important, why would they feel the need to pick of one un-important person drowning in misery?
When does it really end?
If there is a way to deflect their evil crap back onto themselves, I will be sitting right here ready to listen…anyone have some ideas?
Anyone been chewed up and spit out and survived with some sense of spirit left intact, time to answer up.

8

This drug ■■■■ isn’t working.

I must be freed, let go, left alone.

Let’s do something about it, even if it kills us to try, they are going to kill us anyway, let’s do something.

Sick of this ■■■■.

9

Pan, it’s a trade off. Meds can have side effects but they also do a lot of good. You sound like you’re going through a rough time. It can be better. Meds can make that misery go away.

I don’t like taking meds. I don’t like side effects. But I dislike living in constant misery more. They say psych meds cut years off your life. I’d rather have fewer years, but better years, than spend the rest of my life in a living hell.

Yes, the drugs can be harmful but really, what’s hurting you more?

10

That aint no trade i ever heard of.

“Take these pills or we’ll torment you to death.”

What kind of “trade” is that anyway.

Id rather be dead, they need to start offering people like us assisted suicide, pills or “them” tormenting me, id rather be dead than live in this horrible way.

Let me ask you something mal, if you don’t mind, you think im sick? You think anything i say is true? When i talk about “them” do you think im telling the truth or that im delusional? Because im really really not sick at all, and if it’s that stupid ■■■■ or harmful drugs to treat the horrible stupid ■■■■ id rather just die.

11

If only we could give the meds to the tormentors.

12

Pan, I know that this suffering is real to you. I know what it’s like. I suffered for a long time myself, wanted to die for so long I didn’t know what it was like to live.

The meds can make that suffering go away. Only you will remain, and you’ll start to live.

You talk about wanting to die, and I understand that. But if you could live, without the pain and the torment, wouldn’t that be better?

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Pan, Malvok is right. Medications can make the misery go away. Please talk to the professional doctor. The sooner you’ll take help, the quicker you’ll recover.

I cannot feel exactly what you are going through but I am concerned about you.

Have you noticed what exactly happens before you start seeing the objects? Do you feel something before that? Any physical symptoms in your body? Is it a particular stuff\day\event or attitude that triggers them?

14

Pans, I have difficulties to read these long posts too and I just do not read these, but I know you need some help from real psychologists, we szs are not psychologists, you may need to change the way how you view your life and the world, you need some positivism in your life, sometimes black ■■■■ such as smoking may get us to these dark corners in our minds, talk to psychologists, in the mean while here is happy music for you.