My partner does things at an extremely SLOW PACE, it drives me nuts

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It’s not that. I’ve been struggling ever since I had my last episode. My guilt is too much. I have said we could go counselling.

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We been together 6 years !

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That’s a while! I’m surprised you don’t live together yet. Is there a reason for that? Is it him?

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He lives miles away he only just got his mortgage sorted. I can’t live there because I lose too much but he’s planning to move to London so let’s see when that happens.

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In other words it’s not been financially possible until recently

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Okay so it’s not like you guys don’t have a valid reason to not be living together. Kind of sucks but I would say his hesitancy isn’t too much cause for concern. Living with someone is definitely the right move before getting married and it sounds like you’re on your way there.

As for the sex, you guys live far apart so it’s not always easy to get together. Shoot me and my partner live together and we only do it a handful of times a year. That’s because we are both medicated and have low libido though.

I think you guys are doing fine. Maybe things will move more quickly once you both have been living together for a bit.

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I think the ultimate problem is that you have very different future plans. If you can’t resolve that, you’ll both be unhappy and dissatisfied in your relationship.

I know your family is very traditional so moving in together before marriage is not encouraged. That’s okay really. I didn’t live with hubby before getting married and it worked out fine. So it’s not about that.

It’s about the fact that you don’t agree on the big stuff like marriage and finances which are obstacles that have to be ironed out if you want a future together.

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I completely agree with this.
If you guys are on separate pages concerning your relationship goals.
Your relationship won’t thrive @anon25873142

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Maybe he expects something from you.
A couple of examples:

  • for you to find a job you’re happy with, and capable of sustaining
  • to get intimate again, maybe on a regular basis
  • for you to propose (lol!)

I could be wrong. How’s communication between you two? Are you usually open with him? Does he look equally open? Do you engage in serious conversations or just beat around the bush?

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I’m wondering the same thing

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