My mother rejected & bullied me

8 Toxic Patterns in Mother-Daughter Relationships | Psychology Today

I’ve attached link for patterns of mother daughter relationships that are toxic incase any of you want to read

I was rejected by my mum, the only time she showed me any kindness is when i was sick or had fallen over.
She used to show no mercy other than that.
She’s never really loved me i don’t think. Her eyes and voice light up when she talks about my siblings but not me.
I have tried to put on a brave front all my life

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Sorry to hear that. It doesn’t sound easy.

thanks no i’m fine with it now i’m all grown up!

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Sorry @LittleMissSlothy i was well a bit on the defensive

It is really tough

I must be thick because i keep asking myself the same questions over an over

Why me why not my sister
Etc

I was stronger than my sister

She didn’t like that i wouldn’t cry so easily

I actually hate her now that I’ve come to terms with it all
There will be no more playing happy familys from me!

Sorry to hear that things are tough. I hope it gets easier with time.

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I think its a lifelong battle of my mind

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I doubt it gets any better im 43 yrs
I just have to stop seeing them its tough but the best thing for me

I think about the abuse everyday
But it upsets me to varying degrees each time i think about it
Some days better than others

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I can identify with that list. of unhealed trauma.

I think I have worked on them and for the most part successfully.

But many bullets points listed come back in some form or fashion when I least expect it.

@Kxev yeah its crazy isn’t it how things that happen in childhood can haunt you decades later
I really could do with therapy actually
Im going to ring nurse soon

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We block it out for sure. Can block it for long times. When someone who we love turns on us and shows hatred it can be really hard to not block it out sometimes

I think trauma caused my ocd which lead to more trauma which lead to ptsd and ddnos and substance abuse which ultimately lead to drug induced psychosis. Idk what caused my seasonal effective disorder. Maybe trauma??? Idk lol.

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Yes so much so. @spaceoptic As much as I don’t want to admit - they do.

Yes @Jonnybegood I think thats when I realize the trauma comes back is when something triggers it like you said as an example.

But I’m definitely in a better place than when I was 18 and figuring out life and just blaming the trauma and finding abusive relationships comforting and normal.

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Thats a lot of trauma @Jonnybegood

I read somewhere most schizophrenics have trauma, it took years and years for me to even think about it never mind talk to anyone about it

@Kxev sounds like your in a much better place

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Sorry to hear this. Everyone has gone through a storm in life, there all very different and painful.
If I were you, I would try to forgive her and speak out about how you feel to your pdoc.
Its hard to forgive, but it sets you free these painful thought
Tk good care :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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I’m sorry you went through that. I know how you feel. Hang in there. You can develop a chosen family of others in your life for whom you care and they return that sentiment.

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@lovesong

Thankyou i appreciate your kind thoughts x

@ZmaGal

Thanks i wish i didn’t feel the need to talk about it. I should get a therapist

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