I called her just now and listened to her talk about her day, asked questions, etc. then when I wanted to share my day (I had an amazing day) she did not say anything for 30 seconds and then started talking about something she’s already told me. She’s always like this with me, she’s never even congratulated me for college, just made fun of me for taking a year off for my mental health and called me a pill popper for taking prescribed meds
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Can you accept that she is who she is.
But still live and care about her
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You are under no obligation to associate with unpleasant people after you become an adult.
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I also have difficulties in my relationship with my mother.
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I know, I’ve been trying to cut free from them for years. In 2021 I had to report my brothers gf for child abuse and my parents really hated me for it. They were wanting to sweep it all under the rug. It was extremely bad
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Normally I would suggest burning a bridge in a scenario like this but it lacks the necessary panache. Please let me know where I’m sending the Jericho missiles I bootlegged from Stark when he was on the sauce.
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For real, it was truly an awful year. Like just two weeks before that my ex has gotten violent on me and I got a restraining order. They didn’t care. They tried to tel me I actually owed my brother money for the drugs he had to flush. I blocked them for a long time , idk why I keep g letting them back in
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This is awful. Are the kid/s safe now?
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Well they got placed with my parents, which isn’t great. Now my brother left his gf and lives there too. It’s just like a toxic enmeshed narcissistic fun house .
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But they’re not being severely neglected and threatened
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The thing about parents is if you expect them to change and they don’t it’s really frustrating and hurtful and just bad on yourself.
I think it’s a good to think about what kind of relationship you want with them
High contact
Low contact
No contact
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It takes a hella good person to do what you did, okay? Not only a good person, but a brave one. Anyone who can’t see how you stepped up does NOT deserve to be in your life.
(((hugs))) to you for doing the right thing
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Thank you so much i know I definitely did the right thing, I mean DCS doesn’t intervene otherwise.
I appreciate everyone’s words it’s just been hard to accept that my family isn’t doing the work to be better like I am trying to do. But I can only control myself
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My mom is a workaholic that always talks about her work, but I know that deep down she cares.
That’s enough for me.
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I’m sorry you’re struggling with family. I know how hard it can be. It’s especially hard when your parents just ignore things that matter to you, and undermine or ignore your accomplishments.
But just know that you should be proud of your accomplishments, and you will meet people who will care about you and the things that matter to you
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I feel like I wrote this myself. Hey, you’re not alone. Have you heard the term “Designated patient” before? It’s basically the one person in the messed up family that actually seeks help. They learn all this stuff, and try to teach it to the others. But the others see the designated patient as the crazy unstable one, because they’re in therapy, so they don’t listen.
ETA: Apparently the term is actually “identified patient” and I mixed it up in my head a bit
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I had not heard that term before but I had a feeling that’s what was going on. I also am the only one in my
Immediate family with severe depression issues with SI, so it’s easy for them to see me as just unstable
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You can be unstable and still have you poop in a group better than others around you.
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If they focus on your problems, they don’t have to acknowledge their own.
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Exactly. I did talk to my dad last night about my mom, we have sometimes talked about it because he honestly gets most of the abuse. He agreed she is abusive to us both, the first I’ve heard him admit that outright.
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