I used to enjoy being around my family. I haven’t been the same since march. I used to love being around my niece and nephews and now i just get anxious when they come around. I’m getting to the point where dying would be better than what i’m going through. I hate it. I want it to change but no matter what i do it doesn’t change. I think my medications are doing this to me but how am i supposed to bring this up to anyone?? I need some serious help but i don’t think anything can be done about it.
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Ask you doc to add valum or gapapinton or both…they helped my anxiousness…
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Hey, don’t worry it will pass. Give it time.
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It’s getting worse. I have been on meds for six months and have been going through this since march. I’m not sure if it will ever end
Did you have a psychotic break before that?
Before meds? Yes.
I think it’s what’s called post psychotic depression, it eventually fades, give it time.
I already take ativan but i’ve become tolerant to it. I can be comfortable if i take three ir four of them at a time but my supply is low until next sunday when i can refill it. Now i’m just taking three a day.
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I experience so much of what others on here experience. I can relate. I’m unmedicated. When I get to those points when I don’t know why I exist and if I can go on. I wait it out and something worthwhile or good ultimately happens.
Force yourself to stay connected. Get therapy, not just meds. Try to focus outside of yourself. And hang in there.
I’m about 36+ years into this (I’m 49 and was first psychotic when I was 12-13) I have visual, auditory and tactile hallucinations. I’m paranoid, and have damaging negative symptoms…I’m not weirdly bragging or anything. I am telling you that I have major struggles but still have a quality to my life. You can do this 
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You blame your suffering on medication. You are suffering from SZ you know. The medication is for the symptoms of the SZ. You ought to look more closely at whether the SZ is there, what are its symptoms, and report them to your doctor. The medication can give you bad side effects, but medication can’t give you SZ. I wouldn’t take a handful of Ativan. You don’t know what you are doing. Self medicating is harmful. If you have SZ, you are going to suffer from some of its symptoms for the rest of your life in spite of the medication. SZ has been called the worst disease known to man by a noted psychiatrist-E.Fuller Torrey. Don’t write the disease off by calling it a disease of medication…
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