My mind communicates mostly with imagery

I think this is why I don’t talk much with people in person. I have an easier time on the internet, maybe because there is so little sensory input or stimulation involved, just texts and the occasional funny image.

Whatever I’m thinking or doing, most of the time, my mind produces (often metaphorical) imagery to go with it. I see the real world, and I simultaneously see what my mind is producing. It also produces vivid imagery to correlate with my emotions most of the time.

I think this has always influenced me trying to explain myself to people. I have a strong tendency to go with metaphors when trying to explain symptoms to a professional, for example. It’s what I’m used to, as far as my own internal communication.

Lately I’ve been getting obsessive thoughts about not wanting to eat anymore, and with these thoughts always come scenes in my mind, vivid and detailed, of large mechanical structures that can put up plates and walls, closing themselves off from the outside environment. I hear the loud clanking and metallic vibrations as they pull up their plates and doors and seal themselves shut. Sometimes there is water involved for no apparent reason, as though each mechanical structure had been flooded or recently pulled out of the ocean.

Most of my life that is how I communicate internally and experience things. I won’t actually experience the thoughts, I’ll just get a scene like that and automatically know what my mind means, what it is conveying to me.

A lot of my intrusive imagery has connections to my past, as well. Like when I was getting vivid, intrusive scenes of me tearing out my eyes, and then one of the entities in my mind started explaining that a person cannot cry anymore if they have no eyes. I wasn’t allowed to cry growing up, it was forbidden and met with physical punishment. I know what my mind might go off on a weird tangent of sorts about having no eyes. But it does it all with intrusive imagery/scenes that feel so realistic they unsettle me when they happen.

Words on the other hand are always empty to me, they have no power. I can sit and talk about my biological father for an hour with anyone and feel nothing, like we’re talking about the weather or dinner. But if my mind hits me with a scene of my father being homeless, enraged and sick (like he often now is), that’s like my language, that’s how I really communicate, and it gets to me.

I used to try using the same imagery to communicate with others, like bridging the space between my mind and other people. I’m a so-so artist so sometimes it was frustrating when I couldn’t get it exactly like how it was in my mind. But mostly it was frustrating because the few people who looked at my art only got the message that it was “bad”, whatever was being communicated was “bad” or that I was obviously upset or disturbed. They couldn’t share my language because they couldn’t share my memories and all the dots that I only I can connect due to those memories.

I’m not sure why it’s like this, why it’s so hard to talk, and images/scenes are my mind’s primary way of conveying anything. But I bet before I became more self-aware about it, it probably had a lot to do with why I seemed even crazier than I really am. If it came more naturally to me to make a painting of me tearing my eyes out, than to be able to just sit there and talk about the effed up childhood. Like no wonder, really.

Anyone similar to this?

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Another thing it does because it’s like this, on a lighter note, is for every person I communicate with online, my mind has assigned you all a visual, detailed “character” that I can see and hear talking in my mind when I read your posts.

When I was quite ill on seroquel I used to get what could be termed my mind communicating with me via imagery. Glad that’s gone now.

Was it always negative? Sometimes it’s positive for me, since it’s like a direct mirror between myself and… whatever part of my brain these thoughts come from. Certain songs often cause an explosion of glowing, colorful, tiny lights.

I don’t think it’s a positive thing. If respiridal works out, that will probably go away.

I just meant as a subjective experience. Objectively yeah having intrusive images in your head is not good.

It wasn’t positive for me, it was a bit disconcerting, even more so looking back at it.

Yeah most of mine are neutral or disturbing. My main thing is that I wish I was a better communicator. I think my mind’s tendency to do this gets in the way of a lot of communication. I wind up living very internally with a different sort of language (so to speak), and then trying to explain things to people is difficult. I can’t just paint everyone pictures and have them all be on the same page with me.

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I think mostly with imagery too. But I don’t have problems with talking to people in person.

I relate to this pretty strongly.

I mean psychosis was a real trip for a while there until that all got shut down.

Brought it back though… It’s been pretty useful and entertaining for me to be able to do so again.

It’s an ample distraction to utilize during psychosis. It leaves me impressed with my brain and bewildered by existence itself. It lets me see the people I love and revisit both good and bad things to help desensitize me to reality.

The buddhism thing is pretty sweet. If you can quell your aversions by facing them mentally it helps in the real world.

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All of my thoughts are images. I feel like I have to translate or describe what I want to say all the time. I mess it up a lot and so I hate talking. Typing is much easier. I was all excited when I read Temple Grandin’s book " Thinking in Pictures" because here was someone who understands, but then I cried at the end because she’s a genius and I’m not ( so unfair ) :wink:

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Just keep it simple is what I do… people don’t need to know everything going on in your head.

People talk about movies I’ve seen and it triggers a lot of imagery. I might mention a scene in particular.

Don’t be surprised though. Everyone has images in their minds. The same thing is probably happening on their end. (I just went to the sahara and I’m standing on a sand dune. Before that it was Robert Downing Junior blackfaced saying “Survive!.” and a couple scenes from blade runner.)

Just focus on talking for a while… let the images exist and focus on communicating.

I know I’m going to get it a lot tonight. My step-grandmother invited my step-father out to dinner, and he automatically invited me without her permission, and in the moment I agreed to go. But I bet it’s going to be awkward and anxiety/anger inducing. My step-grandmother used to show a lot of interest in me when I was younger, she liked that I seemed smart and was overly excited about some big, impressive academic future she saw for me. When she realized I was mentally ill, she stopped talking to me. There was a time last year when she made plans to pick me up and go have coffee, but she never showed up, and eventually I just went to sleep. I told myself she must have just forgotten about it, and it was never talked about again. I don’t think she wants me at this dinner. Maybe I’ll bail at the last minute.

“…on a lighter note, is for every person I
communicate with online, my mind has assigned you all a visual, detailed
"character” that I can see and hear talking in my mind when I read your
posts."

What do I look like in your mind’s eye? Just curious. :sunny:

I think in images as well. I like to ask people if they think in images or in words, most neurotypicals don’t have a clue. :smile:

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You’re a drunk hippie sitting on a sidewalk, friendly but a little wild-eyed. Your imagery in general is usually quite colorful.

No offense meant in case it might be there, my mind can be very random with these things.

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… a wild-eyed drunk hippie?? lol!

(I should’ve never asked!) :wink:

Okay…

Now Minn. What does she look like in your mind’s eye?

What’s mine? In my head, you’re an anxious, fighty turnip in a touque sitting next to a suspicious toad :smile_cat:

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Turnip is like a slim young girl, that looks younger for her age, with messy hair and hasn’t showered for a week.

You’re definitely Cat Stevens :smile: Ahahah Can’t take that out of my mind

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