I have a very handsome face. I say that without pride, because it is how you handle your looks that matters, not the first impression you make that matters. My looks buy me a lot and they cost me a lot. I’m going to tell about one of the times they cost me. I was in a psychiatric hospital in Dallas. They were letting me work in a bookstore, and that is an interesting story. I was dressed nice, and I was wearing an apron. I could project a very dignified image, kind of like a butler, but I was anything but dignified. I was pretty forward with the women who came into the store. I won’t go into specifics, but I did create quite an impression. I think I did stop short of being offensive The manager finally fired me, which is a whole other story. Anyway, my attitude was, “So I got fired. I’ll go right out and find another job.” I got in my car and drove all over Dallas. For some reason the people at the mental hospital didn’t like that, and they committed me back to the hospital and put me on a major tranquilizer called “Moban”. It was a typical AP, and all the typical AP’s are a horror to me. I really do think that if I had been anyone else they would have applauded the way I got right back out and applied for another job, preferably at a bookstore. I think it was because of the impression I made at the bookstore and the lack of regard I showed for the hospital that got me recommitted. That was a time that my good looks cost me dearly.
I’m not bad looking I don’t think. U be the judge. I’m really bad at judging my own looks anyways I may be ugly to some idk it’s a matter of preference but at least some girls find me attractive and usually If they get to know me they like me more even than initial judgement. But I’m really passive toward women. I’ve accepted my non forwardness and I deal with it by trying to act humble and reserved and calm. I used to be grandiose frenetic and all over the place but I’ve amended my behavior a lot. I dunno if I ever want too serious relationship rn. But if it seemed right I probably would. But I’m picky a lot to personality type as well as looks. I have higher standards towards personality than looks but I need to feel appeased in both aspects. It is what it is. I feel I’m in a good position in my life right now.
Actually, my success with women has been very modest. I’m sorely lacking in social skills. Looks don’t matter that much to women. It’s more status and prestige, and mostly personality. My social clumsiness doesn’t show that much on this site, but in person it is hard for people to handle. I’ve more or less accepted that I am going to have to live apart from society, and any meaning to my life will have to come from inside myself. I don’t want to sound too pompous, but that’s the way it is.
I hate to tell you this Crimby but status and prestige does not matter to a lot of women out there. When I met my ex he fixed trailers for a living and together we both worked towards the goal of bettering our financial situation. It was not until later on in the marriage did he start work in the Oilfield and worked his way up to a Management position.
When I was younger (see image 2 on selfie thread 
) I worked for a Medico/Legal Practitioner. I came into contact with a lot of Lawyers and Doctors. The 37 year old that I dated was a Lawyer. He owned a Porsche, was very flashy, took me to some fine restaurants. Let me tell you, he was the biggest jerk I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. His idea of a great personality was to run around the house in a leopard skin G string, carrying a little metal thing with holes in it of different sizes. This thing was a dick girth measurer. He asked me to guess which hole his dick fitted into. Talk about an idiot. The relationship didn’t last of course 
I am glad I am old now and that the mating game is over. True story!
Communication with the opposite sex comes easier when the question of romance isn’t messing things up. A lot of guys reflexively try to get laid with any girl they go out with, usually on the first date. I agree. There are a lot of jerks out there.
Dating is so different when you are very young. Subconsciously it really is all about reproduction, only you are not aware of it at the time. You seek out a mate that is physically attractive to you, you even imagine what your kids will look like. You pick a mate that has qualities that you are lacking and vice versa in the hope of having this perfect child without any defects. It is not until you are older when you look back on your life that you realise this.
I was 27 when I met my ex husband and 30 when I had my son.
Guys tend to suffer from a lot of performance anxiety. Some of them turn into real jerks, because the girl ceases to matter to them, and all these guys care about is getting to score.
I just feel that mother nature made men that way. They are driven to reproduce. Look at animals in the wild, there isn’t a great deal of romance going on.
Thank goodness times have changed. A caring partner now takes into consideration how the other person feels.
There was a guy at my last job who was trying to get with every girl around his age who worked there. He tried to put the moves on me one night and I rejected him. He never really talked to me much after that lol.
There are species that keep the same mate for life. I was watching a nature movie called “The March of the Penguins” and it looked like those penguins had the perfect social values. If people had the same social instincts as those penguins communism would work. I think most geese mate for life, too. I’m really not sure how much life I have left. I’m sixty years old. I feel healthy, but you never know. If I got a partner I could take out a life insurance policy on myself.
Performance anxiety. I only ever had one guy suffer from that. Again I was young, 22 maybe. As I have mentioned previously I was a bit of a show pony around that time, I think he was attracted to me but felt intimidated or inferior some how. I tried my best to reassure him that it was okay and that it was not his fault and that it could happen to anyone. He was a nice guy but he didn’t see me again.,
Performance anxiety doesn’t necessarily mean impotent. It can also appear as hypersexuality. A guy like that gets too caught up in the locker room talk of the guys. He feels like he constantly has to prove himself. If he does fail it is a catastrophe to him, but he usually recovers, and then resumes his game of breaking women’s hearts.
I think elephants are beautiful in the wild.
I think us oldies have a good chance of finding a partner if we want to that is. That mating drive has gone, it’s all about companionship and friendship now. If we want it, we have to go out and get it. It won’t come to us while we are sitting at home watching the years go by.
I am learning a lot about the male species tonight 
Yes. Exactly. What got in my way was this idea that I was going to be a writer. I shied away from other people because my mind was usually on something different than what they were talking about. As for pairing up, you need good communication to make that work. I would give a lot to pair up with a woman I could communicate satisfactorily with.
My biggest problem is economic. I live on the largess of the government, and I don’t get that much.
Crimby I am fortunate in that regard. There are a lot more dummies in the world than highly intelligent people. I bet I can easily find someone I can communicate with
I think it may be a little harder for you. You seem like a bit of an intellectual to me. 
I mean that in a nice way.
Yes. I’m like that. I can be pretty vacant at times. The problem is that the real world has a hard time competing with my imagination. One time an English professor quoted somebody who said “The desire that can be fulfilled isn’t much of a desire.”
Men are not the best at handling rejection
I can satisfy my physical needs with the women where I live. It is ridiculously easy to get laid here. It’s so easy that you start to miss the challenge. That’s one thing a certain type of girl doesn’t understand. She might be completely desirable, but she is no challenge.