Schizophrenia.com

My kind of thinking

i am talking about this cause i still trying to figure what do i have exactly. i have trouble explaining what i feel to pdocs…
for instance i talk with a friend on the phone,she s saying to me that therapy could help me,i suddenly think ‘‘she says ■■■■, kind of a nonsense,it wont help me’’… talking to my mother and thinking-’‘how do she does this,to feel so sponatneous,talking about everything etc’’… one pdoc has told to me that i have obsessive thoughts. is this things looks like obsessive, is it some kind of parasite thinking? and what is the normal thinking then who provides to be more in peace etc?

I find it helps to write things down before a visit to the psychiatrist.

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I wouldn’t worry too much about what “normal” thinking is. Just try to be at peace with yourself.

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thanks crimby,yeah,i am quite paranoid,it bothers me. you think that the paranoics are considering themselves as the center of the world? i feel like ■■■■ but my mother thinks that i should be considering like the center of the world to think that others are watching me :confused:

That thought has occured to me - that I must be pretty important if everyone is out to get me. It does have its down side. Sometimes I wish I could just take it easy.

yes,it has its down side,for sure… i dont have in mind that i am important but i still feel paranoid…

you’ll get there man don’t worry about it. 64

Yes, you do question a lot of things like that anna when you are schiz.
slowly over time as the meds kick in you’ll slowly begin to remember things and be able to sort and figure yourself out faster.
it was only yesterday that I was going to get medication that and saw another schiz come out of the hospital he was really messed up, staring at the ground dragging his feet across the floor and doped up on meds could barely walk straight.
Standing out in front of everyone having a cigarette, i remember thinking that looks really bad but at the same time thinking he will get there one day if the meds work.

just remember if you have a lot of memories or thoughts to forget about them and move forward to the future, nothing is what it seems. For me, schiz came at the perfect time in my youth if it came later it would have been worse because who knows where I might have been at that point in time. Now I question and think and look at a lot of situations and places and make sure I don’t get into them any longer. your a survivor just like me and everyone else here, but we all came from different situations.

oh thanks for the reply rollies. the problem is that i became ill very early, my mom irritates me pathologically etc… but i only see her mostly. yep,hope that meds will kick in like you say…hah,the image of someone on meds… i am not like that now-i am more like walking nervously at the house of my mom. i am hiding a little bit from the windows of my neighbours.

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you’ll be alright anna.

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you think? they dont dumb my body with poison? my anxiety will go away one day? i am asking it to myself…

Aren’t these just ideas?
Aren’t these just thoughts?
Aren’t these just collections of words?
Don’t I really just talk myself into a funk?
Who manufactures these words in my mind? Isn’t it me?
Aren’t the collections of words in my mind the products of my learned helplessness?

If I knew that there are ways to overcome this learned helplessness – this negativism, this belief in the worst – would I take advantage of those ways?

REBT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rational_emotive_behavior_therapy
Schematherapy – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schema_Therapy
Learned Optimism – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_optimism
Standard CBT – http://www.beckinstitute.org/what-is-cognitive-behavioral-therapy/About-CBT/252/

It did for me, I don’t know how.
It was like being in an abyss for a period there just at the bottom not knowing what is going on with me and all over the place in my head. than I would occasionally come out of the abyss and it got brighter and brighter than I would go back into the abyss for a couple weeks or months than pop out again until one day I never went back in.
if you can understand what i’m saying, it’s almost like you have to let go and brave it. but it can be hard.

yes,probably this is the path of recovery rollies… its painfull,i am probably somewhat evil… my moms often says that i herited my fathers traits,he was sometimes aggressive… but he wasnt paranoid ai this point. i smoked a lot of weed before to be diagnosed in fact :confused:

it was the sort of the same for me anna
you’ll manage to get through with it in due time I hope, most do pull through.
they wouldn’t have you out of the hospital if you weren’t okay to be out.
Sometimes just getting away from the internet and out in the world can do a world of good, remember a lot of people talk and act differently on the internet and sometimes just being around people in person can help keep you grounded so you don’t get a bit lost in your head.

i dont know. they couldnt really help me at the hospital. and here,east europe maybe its not like where you live… the streets are fool with crazy people. i dont know if they take meds… i am still quite jealous of my sz friend who when in crisis takes her for god… i dont have compassion right now, she suffered a lot probably but now works,has even a guy… not my case,i am like that since 15 uears,even more.
you knew szs who were at this point paranoid and got better?

i feel like i have something in the head. quite a delusional,i am focusing to the area of my head in fact…its this thinking probably,it gives me a headache almost…the pressure in the head what…always trying to concentrate to understand the others :confused:

Yes, I do.
Myself I got better - I haven’t met a whole deal in person though because most the times when you meet another schiz it’s in hospital and we’re all in there to get better. We are usually at our lowest mental low when in there.
you can barely tell I’ve got schiz but I’m a bit messed up from my past and memories.
I’m really lucky I’m here you’ve got no idea, the voices and people I was around and the luck I went through really helped me get to this point so much so that I’m completely thankful and wanting to go study something at uni when I get permanent housing.
I know what you mean though some people are a bit loco on the street, it really depends where you go.
if you ever get “light” moments I call them, when you go through your memories and think about things, try to remember how you were and seen the world pre-diagnosis. If you can hold onto that it can really help you see things for what they really are and around you.
The hospital can help you, it just takes time and most of the time the meds do 90% of the job and they are just there for support and to direct you through your life. at one point I was so angry at the whole system, but now, especially with self-enlightenment and memories combined. I really feel thankful, that my life ended up where it did.
Sometimes all it takes is to try get outside your head and on a auto-pilot mode where you are kind of skimming through the outskirts of conversation and memory and to almost dumb down and really try to get outside of your head so you can have a break. just try let go and flow through it, it might take weeks, months or even years.
But most people I think over 50% do recover from schiz from what I heard, so much so to the point that they are unrecognizable but some remain permanent. It’s just about moving forward with your life and trying to make something of yourself, even if it means a life on a pension or a life studying or working or doing hobbies it doesn’t matter. whatever you do, just be thankful they helped you.
and try to disconnect from the internet fairly frequently, I look back now and the internet really effected me when I wasn’t at my best and changed some of the fundamentals of who I am as a person, it’s not healthy for your whole body and spirituality and whom you are as a person standing tall to sit on the internet and browse through all day, A lot of people don’t realize that it can really change whom you are.
Do you remember being a kid and being in situations where for example; there was a Kid that always sat by the TV and just acted a bit strangely? really look at these patterns and try to come as close to that thought pattern as you can, because for a lot of non-schizophrenics in society they never let go of those thoughts and feelings and still remain whom they were growing up and are really “turned on” about people and those around them. Where as for us, it’s almost like we have been turned off with medication after our mind was turned on a little to much and went off the deep end. so now we’re all disconnected a bit in our minds and have to sort through the mess to find the truth in ourselves.

I don’t usually talk like this anna, in person. I’m really quiet and say a few words at a time. But I’m still turned on, just be aware of whats around you and push through it. not all is what it seems, in a non-schizophrenic way.

does the trt helped you for kind of obsessive thougths? i am tensed physically,i think so much about stupidities…can i get rid of them? my head will explode,wow…