He should have included you in the planning. Maybe he just didn’t consider the possibility that you wouldn’t be stoked about this and felt hurt when you rejected the trip he wanted to give you. But you’re not wrong to be upset.
It seems like a pretty normal thing to argue about to me. Like I can see it from both sides. Its not courteous to plan it without asking you about it. But on his end, he probably just wanted to get it done and meet his mate.
If this is the first time its happened, I would maybe talk to him and just say “in the future lets discuss trips together before committing to them”. You need to point out that its not the trip that’s bothering you, its the fact that they just assumed you wanted to go without asking you.
There seems to be a pattern then of him not consulting you. I’d be very cross. You not feeling excited about a trip he already knows you don’t like doesn’t justify his reaction. However, being right doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seek to be conciliatory. You can always apologise for your handling of the situation (he’ll probably do the same) and then calmly explain what is it that you find so annoying and inappropriate about his behaviour.
Well I hope he learns this time. Sometimes it takes a few times to unlearn bad habits etc. I’m glad you were the responsible one that apologised though. I think you did the right thing.
This trip is happening, your husband is going or not going based on your feedback. I don’t think its reasonable to make him skip it, because he might not get a chance to see his family, and the time for the date might not work at any other time because of the schedules of the people involved.
Asking for a change of date is unreasonable in my opinion.
Now as for what you want to do when you’re there, well yes, that you should have quite a say in. I think you need to calm down a bit.
Is this an opportunity to change how you feel about these people? Be honest. If you don’t think you want to spend time with them, try to see if you can go and do something else with your husband while you’re there, that you would enjoy without these people. Then partition the time so that your husband gets to enjoy his family and you get to enjoy your husband’s company in a new environment.
Perhaps he did not plan with you because you wouldn’t have agreed to go to the trip?
Recently, my father arranged a trip despite me insisting I didn’t want to go.
I was coming off Klonopin and wasn’t able to sleep more than 2 hours a night. I was dissociating, and stuff. Having strange experiences. I was upset that the trip was being forced upon me by my father to visit his family in another state. I was pleasantly surprised after going to the trip however as it was a change of environment. I was reluctant at that time but I am happy in hindsight that I went to the trip. Sometimes, the brain just needs change…
It would have been a splendid surprise if it was in Las Vegas, or the Bahamas, or Italy, but since it wasn’t, he’s a gigantic donkeys butt. It’s only fair you got a say in it. You take that week and we can go to Europe with some other friends, together.