Long story short… My husband gave me the go ahead of planning a birthday party for him and told me not to mention plans with him. Fast forward to today, he got po’ed that I invited one of his brothers to his party. They have never gotten along and hate each other, but he (brother) has said mean things about my husband to his older brother, who now lives with us. I’m po’ed at the older brother for telling him his middle brother has called him an idiot. Did my husband need to know that? No! But older brother likes instigating and stirring sh#$ up. Now, I’ve invited the middle brother because I actually get along with him. And my husband is mad that I’ve not only invited him, but talk to him through social media. And! That surprise, he respects my opinions. So I can’t uninvite him, that would be rude and I can’t make my husband forget what eldest brother gossiped to him. He could have gone the rest of his life not knowing that he’s been called an idiot. He could be lying for all we know. Ugh! I wish he’d move out. Also! The eldest staying with us won’t talk to me at all anymore because he said I creep him out. I hate him.
My husband has been nothing but negative and ugly ever since his elder brother moved in. He’s a backwards, homophobic, loner that hates women and our rights. His backwards thinking is making me lose my sh#@! He thinks women should be seen, not heard. That we should be in the kitchen and knitting scarves. He wants me to make him perfect food like his mommy makes it. Ugh! Just UGH! He also keeps to himself, is immaculate, pays his rent, and utilities on time and is just so best buddies with my husband. They light up when they see each other. But when I walk in they go upstairs and play video games for hrs. I’m done!
I cant understand, I’ve only heard you talk about his brother (who sounds like a great and careful guy) and I assume your husband had the same qualities like your brother in law. As similarities run in the family (thous my logic).
But he sounds like he doesn’t give you the attention you deserve. I’m sorry, I hope you find peace, finnaly. You can always talk with us.
Thanks @anon92220549. I needed to let that out. I’ve been holding it all in and today’s lecture from my husband was the last straw. The truth is, no one in the family likes each other. They fight over the pettiest things and compete like crazy lions over a carcass. I’m trying to bridge the gap and unite them with good memories as we have kids that want to hang out together. Except the oldest for obvious reasons.
You are an inspiration for being so brave. Sometimes things get out of hand so we can’t control what people do (even if we really want it sometimes). So don’t worry when there’s some things you can’t do for your family.
You and the man you love need to get along, that’s what matters in the end. Because you live toghter and need to live this crazy life toghter
You’re right. I’ve got to set my priorities straight. My mind hasn’t always been right, but I know I’ve come out of harsher situations. I can only control my reactions. I’ll sit down and have a serious talk with my husband tomorrow. He needs to know how this dynamic is affecting me. He does write down my symptoms and concerns so I know he cares. We’ll see what happens. I just hope he can hear me out. I’m going into deep waters when it comes to video games. Wish me luck.