My father in law is dying

He was told he has a few weeks to live. He was in ICU but they put him in a regular room and told him he’s dying. We’re going to bring him home so he can be around family.

My biggest worry is that my brother in law lives with their dad and he’s never lived on his own. He’s very emotionally disturbed, and he’s an alcoholic and get violent when drunk. I think we’re expected to let him live with us and my husband isn’t comfortable streeting him. We also don’t think he’ll be willing to go to a group home. So this really sucks.

12 Likes

I’m sorry to hear that.

1 Like

I’m so sorry @ZmaGal

1 Like

I’m so sorry, @ZmaGal.

Maybe when the dust settles you can see if the state will step in for your brother in law and assign him a social worker.

1 Like

He has one, but he’s not honest with her. He says he’s from Boston and talks with a fake Boston accent. He’s lived in Michigan his whole life. He also tells people his dad lives with him and he takes care of him when it’s always been the opposite.

Oh geez. I can’t stand pathological liars and manipulators.

You really need to keep this guy out of your household.

2 Likes

I also live with my parents and not able to live alone. I can’t manage money, I will spend it all in a day. My parents receive my disability in their bank. I don’t know what will happen to me when my parents die in 10 years. Either homeless or suicide unless my brother let me live with him and his wife. I am sure his wife will reject that…

1 Like

My issue isn’t that he needs help, it’s that he’s emotionally disturbed. He has even tried to drug me a couple times and it’s not my paranoia. It was confirmed by my husband. Do you do things like that to people? He has also started fist fights while at our house. That’s the kind of stuff I don’t want to deal with

2 Likes

Is this your husbands brother?
What does your husband think?

1 Like

Don’t you have children?

You can’t have that guy in your house regardless of his family status.

I say let him go to the streets.

It’s not worth the risk.

2 Likes

Yes, this is my husbands brother. He says he knows his brother won’t agree to a group home, and he doesn’t want his brother to be homeless. His brother is on disability for physical injuries that he faked ( he said he couldn’t walk yet walks 10-15 miles per day). My husband loves his brother even though he’s so messed up

1 Like

We do have kids. But I have a feeling I will be the one on the streets if I put my foot down and say no way. I’ve already told my husband I don’t want to live with his brother and he said he can’t turn him away.

It’s unfortunate that your husband is putting the needs of his alcoholic, violent brother before those of his children.

3 Likes

The best way to help an alcoholic is to let them hit bottom. That’s where they find the will to recover, when all of the better and easier choices are gone. It may kill him, but it may also give him his life back. In any case having him in your home will destroy your family. Not kidding.

2 Likes

That’s what I’m worried about. I’m afraid everything will fall apart when he’s here. My only hope is a big settlement with the nursing home that severely neglected my father in law and put him in this situation in the first place will enable my husbands brother to live on his own. We’ve decided to sue, because they were supposed to be helping my father in law walk, and they let him fall twice, and one of those times he shattered his hip. Then, they allowed him to be so severely dehydrated that he ended up in ICU, and he coded 4 times. Now his heart is too weak for him to keep living. It’s such a mess.

1 Like

Holy hell, that’s all kinds of horrible. Will keep you in my thoughts. Please feel free to PM me on the BIL issue if you need feedback from an Old Timer member of AA.

:heart:

3 Likes

Ok. Thanks! 1515

While on Abilify I threw knives at my brothers, one bled from his forearm. I took illegal drugs and paid money for sex daily. It was all from my parents money, I threatened them to kill my brothers or myself if they didn’t give me money so they did. At the end I stopped Abilify and my strong brother strangled me to stop me from stealing my parents money, I lost consciousness.

Its after all that that my addiction issues stopped. I still have shopping addiction using my parent’s money but that’s a smaller issue.

1 Like

I’m sorry to hear that and my condolences. I hope everything works out for the best and that you and your family remain safe.

1 Like

Anyways now I am much better, only shopping addiction and severe negative symptoms, staying in bed all day everyday, only get up to eat. In bed either sleeping or on this forum.

1 Like