Schizophrenia.com

My ex with sz can't be in a relationship

I had a long talk with my ex yesterday,
he doesn’t want to have a relationship he says its
too difficult. we had been together almost 3 years.
Its so hard for me to understand. I really believed
he loved me and we would be together always.
He says its difficult being in the world he is in and
having to be in a world with me because of the voices.
I have always been supportive and understood him.
I thought I could always be a positive impact for him.
I told him that if the roles were reversed I would be so
happy to have someone like myself by my side.
Its so hard to understand. He really believes that people
with schizophrenia should not be in relationships.
We are remaining friends, I know I have to be greatful for that,
but I’m heartbroken, and I pray that one day soon everyone
with this illness will be cured.
God bless
nanse

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Don’t give up hope.

When I was at my worst… I lived in the world in my head… it was too hard to interact with others… It was hard to talk to others when my voices were getting loud.

Then when I got a little better… I started isolating because I was ashamed of “bringing others down”

I’m med compliant and in therapy… I’m starting a relationship.

There are some members on here who are also married.

I couldn’t be in a relationship until I got stable for a few years and was able to get my mind back to level…

Good luck… I’m rooting for you

5 Likes

thank you so much I needed to hear that…
I will try to remain positive and hope one day
we can be together again…
thank yoy

I like your respectful honesty SurprisedJ. nanse, as a sufferer I have often felt the same way about not being in a relationship. If you care about him, then it would not hurt so much to remain being his friend. Everybody needs a little bit of space or time to think sometimes. Every once in awhile I check the house phone, my mobile phone, or e-mail. When I was in sad state of mind, it most definitely helped to see someone still called though I would rarely answer the phone myself. It helped more so when I’d call a friend and at least get a reply but it was not always so as I myself find it difficult to answer a call at times. I try to keep in touch with friends and family, rarely do they call me out of the blue, but I know they may reply when I least expect it. Sometimes they are just busy doing something. There is nothing wrong with that. Still, I know it doesn’t take 24 hours to speak with someone. Don’t beat yourself up nanse, find strength in your failings.

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Thank you ilovethaifood. . I really appreciate that. .
It’s difficult but I do understand. …you say that you even wondered if you should’ve been in a relationship. …are you in one now? Does it really get to be too much even though you may have a very loving and caring partner? I hope that he really does just need a break and maybe he’ll want to be in a relationship again. …thank you

He is 44 and he thinks it may get worse as he gets older. …but I also know that for some it actually does improve which I hope. …can you say that you have improved quite a bit?
Thanks again

I’m 30…

I also had a drug problem… and then I slid into a deep negative swing.

With meds… with therapy and other supportive services… I’ve been getting my mind back and my functioning gets a bit easier.

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I’m happy to hear that. …
Please keep trying to feel better. .
Thanks again

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I used to be like that. I would only do the one-night-stand thing because relationships were too hard. Guys didn’t get me and I was a burden and all that. Later I changed my mind and got married to a guys who sounds a lot like you. Very supportive and caring and understands and all. I would not give up hope. I think staying friends with him is good and he could change his mind like I did.

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Thank you so much. …thats great.
Thanks for your help.

IF… I am a constantly moving target,
IF… I am feeling this one minute,
IF… I am feeling that the next,
IF… I believe in this one day,
IF… I believe in that the next,
IF… I praised you 20 minutes ago,
IF… I blame you now,
IF… I am committed to recovery now,
IF… I am commttted to escape tomorrow,
IF… I say I will at 3:00,
IF… I say I won’t at 4:00,
IF… I loved you this morning,
IF… I hate you now,

What is it like dealing with me?

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Sounds sad that you have to go through life like this. .I hope that there will be a cure for all of you that suffer from sz. .
I’m praying. .

I was in a relationship for 22 years(married nearly 19) with a then diagnosis of schizoaffective. It wasn’t always easy because of a tendency to withdraw within myself and irrational reactions but the marriage survived and only ended when my wife died.

Whilst in hospital together my wife was told I’d never be capable of a relationship. I do think with psychosis/schizophrenia it is harder but it can work. A lot is dependant on how at ease you are with your partner despite the social difficulties a diagnosis can bring and how much a potential partner can accommodate your social difficulties .
I found my wife in hospital and there was none of the usual dating/courting. I had a relationship but I doubt with my social problems and difficulty with social interaction that lightning will strike twice.

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I’m so sorry you lost your wife. …but what a beautiful story. …I’m happy for you that you had a relationship with a supportive wife I hope you will feel better soon …I hope the best for you.
Thank you for sharing. …it helps