Today. I felt so guilty because I knew I had started drinking more. Since I started dating him I drink like every day and get tipsy/drunk once or twice a week. It is really not something I am happy about considering I used to drink like…maybe once or twice a month, like a margarita at dinner. I haven’t drunk this much since college and let’s be honest even then I didnt drink every day.
I dont really know why. I have been under a lot of stress lately with school. I have also been having some PTSD issues. I just like the way the alcohol makes me feel, I like feeling detached from it all and not thinking about life. My boyfriend was worried for me and says he doesn’t want me to become an alcoholic. I’m scared I keep saying I’m going to cut back but it doesnt happen, same as with my food intake. I feel out of control.
I’m sorry you feel so out of control. Back in April when I was doing poorly I started drinking and smoking pot (it’s legal in Alaska) but made myself throw out all the liquor after I woke up on the bathroom floor without knowing how I got there. Maybe getting rid of all the alcohol in the house would work to help you cut back, too. Feeling out of control is so scary, I hope you feel better soon…
That’s the issue if I had my own place I would just stop getting alcohol and it wouldn’t be an issue, but I don’t. My parents keep hard liquor around and my boyfriend lives with his mom who has hard liquor around so it is always very available. I really want to move out thank you for well wishes
My grandma was an alcoholic who would visit my parents in Florida when she needed to dry out cuz my parents didn’t have any alcohol in their house…so one day my grandma drank all of my mom’s baking vanilla extract! That’s partly why I don’t drink, too, cuz the addiction gene is so strong in my family. I’m a food addict and cannot buy things like chips or candy cuz I’ll eat it all in a day. I used to weigh over 300 lbs cuz I couldn’t control my intake…now I’m a bit more careful with the foods I buy.
I wish you could get your own place, too. Being independent of my family has made such a difference in my life and I could never go back to living with my mom and dad (I lived with them til my mid-30s). You always have the most insightful things to say on this forum and I hope things will get better for you soon.
I keep saying I’m going to cut back but it doesnt happen, same as with my food intake. I feel out of control.