Lol, sorry for this yeap 
you are really my compass often, but I am ill since forever, while I still try to regain my life…
Meds are not a big help for me and this is definitive. I was med compliant and they tried on me just meds for ten years. Ten years where I didn’t do nothing else but trying meds with not a big success. Zyprexa helps to not be at my worst, but nothing more. And the docs won’t change my ap anymore, we tried it…
One friend told me today, that I like to be in this bad state but she can’t know… I am ill since a kid, with more than a terrible family situation etc… This friend told me that maybe I need an ects, yeah… I don’t believe in them for me… I became intellectually disabled too, my thoughts are all over, in some chaos too…
Anyway, sorry that I am not a good participant either or asking many tough questions often… I appreciate you all .
I guess I am a severe case, as said it my doc yeap 
… I also started to oversleep since very early and this makes dumb… Go save my terrible brain now…
But I still count on you, that you’ll stand me and guide me when you can lol 
Hugs
We love you @Anna1 you are not crazy and you are not too far gone, there’s always hope just keep trying to get better.
Hugs)))) @Anna1!
Idk, maybe I’ve gone too far in fact… Plus if the zyprexa kills my emotions and thoughts, it’ll be impossible…
try to hold on to hope the best you can.
OK… Maybe I should pardon myself… But yeah, twenty years of isolation behind me… Nobody knew this…
Uh, and we’re all sane?
Hi all! Hi @77nick77 too… Yeap, ok, I see…
Well, I just realize, that I was ill for very looong… Since a teenager probably…
Even as kid,i had some symptoms, but now I try to recover a bit and its hard…I had to go through anger, hate, irritability, maybe even some aspects of catatonia… Many negatives too on which the meds don’t work quite well and well, terrible paranoia with anxiety… I didn’t speak a lot through those many years…
But well, lets see if i can get a bit better 
But yeah, i was quite crazy here 
Oh, i try some things in the day here now. There’s also this dentist work, that i should do, but am scared lol… The dentists are hard for us szs i find…
anyway, yeap my apologies for everything, you were very loving and helpful all 
.
and yeap, sometimes am still wondering how much time like this… I don’t make a question now lol, but all this was bloody painful lol… Thinking of my years of weed in total isolation, not a nice thing to do lol…
Ok, i try yeap Yeap, my paranoia is probably something like being rejected or not loved… Maybe i really had a terrible family, i don’t see any other reasons… A dad who was beating my mom and sister to death… Without even drinking… I live myself as a psychopath sometimes, that’s all…
My father beat my sister and I without drinking or doing drugs too. He was just crazy.
I am sorry for this, yeap… I went into the illness so soon with this, that i took everything on me… I guess it was hell in our house … My dad once told to my mom, that if she dances at our house, it means, that she is a ■■■■… Many things like this… I couldn’t rely on my parents, never… And i became tough as hell… Now this, the sz… Still the shock of the diagnosis, the fear to remain forever alone… anyway, lets continue walking
I didn’t know your father was like this… Mine died form depression too in fact.
Oh yes, i’ll have to change everything in my mind now i guess lol…
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