I spent my birthday for the first time without him. He got out, and I didn’t realize how much I missed him until he came back. He showed me right away that he picked up four new needles already. He plans to keep using. This honestly is depressing me; I just don’t want to see him go down that life. He wants to be a physics PhD and has the brains to do so, but dropped out of school to inject meth and heroin. I don’t understand where the dissonance lies.
Meanwhile, I am experiencing lots of manic symptoms despite recently starting a mood stabilizer. I haven’t slept in over 36 hours and I’m buzzing. I hope the meds start working soon.
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ahh… he picked the most dangerous pair of habits I have ever heard of… just one of those dirty drugs alone will steal your soul I cannot imagine having 2 beasts of burden gnawing at it constantly… people are dying everyday from one or the other of those… all it takes is a dirty batch or a tiny bit too much… im sorry I have no advice to help with that just don’t join him…
do you have a sleep aid? and what mood stabilizer did they put you on…
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My mother was a massive heroin addict. She quit using at 34 but it still did so much damage to her body that she was very sick the rest of her life until both her lungs collapsed at 46.
He should know he absolutely will die very young (my mom only lived as long as she did because she quit) if he uses that devilish crap. I am so sorry that you have to bear witness. Don’t give up on him.
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So sorry to hear that. Does your brother also suffer from a serious MI along with the addiction?
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I take Ativan sometimes, but not last night because by the time I realized I wasn’t going to sleep it was too late in the night (I wouldn’t be able to wake up in the morning) and I was feeling kinda wired and good so I didn’t want to sleep. I don’t like Ativan because it brings me down when I wanna go UP. I just gotta learn that sometimes you can’t go too far up if that makes sense.
I took an Ativan tonight to get to bed so this doesn’t develop into a full-blown episode. I am on Depakote 1000 mg.
In eighth grade, he stopped going to school for that year, never left the bed, never clipped his nails, and never even showered. He was severely depressed and planning suicide, so he was brought inpatient. He was on antidepressants for a while and it has never been that bad since but I feel like he still suffers from residual depression because it is often a terrible struggle for him to just get to school.
He is on an antidepressant again now, bupropion 300 mg. He has only been using heroin since January and meth since March and he has already lost like 30 pounds because he doesn’t eat, dropped out of school again, sleeps very irregular hours (think, sleeping 24 hours once a week) because the meth keeps him up.
I hope he learns to be more responsible, decreasing his use at least.
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is he doing the heroin while he is still under the influence of the meth?
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Yeah. Or separately. Either one.
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I’m so sorry - I lost a very close Sz sister to an accident in psychosis and have my non close sister, the youngest is delusional frequently and very long term severe alcoholic.
I know she wasn’t my twin - although i have met an Sz who had lost her twin. it seems especially heart breaking
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My late ex-brother-in-law had everything going for him. He was the blonde, good looking all-American kid. He had a great high paying job, him and my sister owned their own home, he had all the toys like his own boat, every tool available, the two cars, etc. He was in a rock band, he had a big circle of friends, him and my sister lived in an affluent neighborhood.
And then he picked up the meth pipe. My sister divorced him (not for the meth use, it was something else) and he had all this money at the time so he got heavily into meth. He lost his cars and his house, he ended up couch surfing. Finally he mixed meth with pills and he had stroke. He ended up in intensive care for a month. Part of his brain and part of his heart were destroyed. He went from the IC unit to a hospice.
He could barely talk and he had to wear diapers at age 52. My sister went to visit him out of loyalty but she couldn’t do anything for him, and I don’t want to sound cold-hearted but she really didn’t owe him anything. She had problems of her own so she had to cut him loose and stop seeing him. Mercifully, for him, he died soon after.
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