It started well - I guy I know came round with a guitar he wanted to sell to me. One of those hollow body electric ones like BB Kings. I bought it for my dads Christmas. I know he will love it.
Anyway the guy then invited me to go to the pub for a few drinks to seal the deal. I went and had a good time. Anyway later on I bumped into my mum and she had a go at me. Saying people will report me to the government for getting drunk in the pub. She implied I shouldnât be seen spending money in a pub or people will talk and I will get in trouble (am not working at the moment).
This is the first real drink I have had in years so am a bit pissed off at my mum.
Youâre always your Momâs kid no matter what age. She was just looking out for your well being. Nothing more to it than that. Donât go overboard sweating about this one.
Thanks Patrick. I think it is just because there is a strong anti welfare sentiment in the uk at the moment. Really upsets me at times - makes me feel guilty if I enjoy myself.
Yeah come to think of it he did expressly prescribed me to go out and try to socialise - I forgot about that.
Think maybe the alcohol junked about my brain a little. Had three glasses and was drunk cos I hadnât drunk in years. Think I will lay off the alcohol.
â â â â . Now I canât sleep and I keep hearing my name being mentioned outside.
By that I mean there are real people outside talking together but when I feel bad I hear them saying â â â â like âoh his beds on the far side of the roomâ etc.
I just started seroquel last week so I wonder if that has anything to do with it.
That sucks. Nobody calls your name though.
I bet that your subconsciously feeling guiltiness for doing the âwrong thingâ according to your mum.
I hope it will pass soon. ( you should call your doctor if it makes you overly upset)
I think guilty is the word. I feel guilty about having moments of joy whilst actively claiming welfare. Kinda like I donât deserve happiness at the âtaxpayersâ expense.
You are also right about mums. Mine can occasionally tap into my propensity for guilt to get me to feel bad about stuff. I love her with all my heart but sometimes I think she takes out the frustrations she had with her dad (who was bipolar) on me.
Well understanding that is a half way to overcoming it!
( I feel sorry for all the people out there who never stop trying to make their parents satisfied with them. Including myself.)
You deserve joy and happiness!
Statistically, if people work on their mental health while unemployed, they are more likely to find employment again and stop being on welfare. So if anyone gives you crap, just tell them socialization is an important part of positive mental health, and youâre focused on recovery.
My mom loves making me feel guilty for random things too. Iâve just learned to go, âOkay mom, think what you want,â and just end the conversation. I used to obsess over the things she said I was doing âwrongâ but now I just laugh and go about my day.
This is just a guess but I think the government allows you to have fun occasionally.
But please donât do something as stupid as I did and I became addicted to crack with the governments money.