Movies/visions take over my brain

Unusual Beliefs
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I know I’ve posted here before about the visuals I get stuck in…and some of you said you suffer the same thing. Hearing that helped me a lot…but now, I 'm feeling alone in the midst of them again. When i’m reading, or just sitting, a scene will flash before my eyes…like an excerpt from a movie I’ve never seen. Usually they are silent, but sometimes they are accompanied by a sound track. The scene obliterates anything in my “real life”…if I’m sitting in my bedroom, the bedroom disappears and all I can see is the vision. Then I snap out of it, kind shaking it out of my head like a wet dog after his bath. And a moment later i cannot recall what I’d just seen. Once—when they were coming fast and furious, I tried writing down what I was seeing…but only nonsense poured from my pen and it didn’t much help me to recall.

If I am stressed—like after having a fight with my husband, they are so bad that I bounce from scene to scene…not even getting a glimpse of my room in between. Doctors ask me to describe what I am seeing and it is such a jumble I cannot make coherence from it. They are news clips without the narrative so you really have no idea what you are seeing. And one bleeds into another.

Sometimes I cannot carry on conversation because I’m stuck in the confusion. I have no hope that any med will help me. The only one that has ever helped me is Loxapine and I’m on the maximum dose of that. I don’t want to add another as I haven’t lost the weight gained in the last foray of med trials. Sometimes I wish I was in the hospital, then I would not have the stress of having to function in a world built by normals for normals. Fortunately I am mostly at home alone–although sometimes my daughter is here…but she basically does her own thing so I’m free to hop from visual to visual without needing to explain myself. But I really wish they would go away. They are taking over my mind. And I am scared that one day there will be no “breaks” into my normal life but rather I will be swallowed up by them like falling into the ocean and forgetting how to swim.

Have any of you had success in overcoming these? Do you understand what I’m trying to explain?

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Yes I understand and unfortunately for me the only BLOCK for them is lotsa beer.

So as result I’m slowly dying alcohol of poisoning.

What can you do?

Such is life.

1 Like
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I hope I’m understanding this… for me it’s like entering an entirely different room… in a different country… This used to be a very hard one for me… It used to reaffirm my belief in different dimensions that I was sure I could escape to. I was also sure I could see through walls when I was younger. Because they would just fade away.

That would do it to me too… I tell myself that some of the places I see and my mind hides in are all internal. I know I have some spaces in my head that I go to for safety.

But your right… it can still make me sort of feel disoriented when I come back to the here and now. I’m lucky my meds are working pretty well and I do work on trying to concentrate on something in the here and now when I feel that floating dissolve coming on.

Since for me it is stress triggered… I try to manage my stress or let my sis know what is going on. It’s not as bad as it used to be for me. I do have help staying in this here and now.

I hope you feel better soon… If I’m reading you right… your not alone.

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Hello locamotion. I haven’t seen a post from you since the old forum. I was thompson2 in that one.

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thank you Surprised. I feel like Ebeneezer Scrooge, peering in windows of Christmases past and present. I am a ghost …no one sees me or acknowledges my presence. You are right–in another country. It is good to know i’m not alone :sunny:

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oh hi Martin! I float in and out of here. I’ve posted a number of times but not with real regularity. I want to try to be here more. I think I’ve been feeling too alienated. Time to make some connections.

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sounds like Mercury toxicity, if you flip out on movies like the matrix and inception, mercury poisoning is the worst, turn your life into a delusional nightmare