@Moon . Get the help if you need it. What about talking to someone if your in crisis ? These may help…
If you are feeling suicidal or having a mental health crisis, please tell someone — a friend or family member, a teacher, a doctor or therapist or call 911 (if you’re in the U.S.) or the Emergency Medical Services phone number in your country.
You can also call a crisis intervention hotline—these are available in the U.S. and in many other countries. You do not need to be actively suicidal to benefit from a crisis hotline.