I get mixed states. I have a key component that helps me identify them. It’s agitation. I’m a pretty easy going person normally. When I start getting super agitated it’s a warning sign to me that I’m in mixed state territory and I start looking for other signs.
If you’re spending is out of control that could be a warning sign for you. In any event it sounds like you’re on a rollercoaster and you may need to have a mood stabilizer or if you are already on one you may need an increase.
Urgh, mixed moods are the WORST. But I’m not sure this is what you are experiencing? Here is what it looks like for me…
Irritability yes, way up there. The word I would use is “agitated”. I want to be doing something, anything, I want movement and engagement, to play a game, watch a tv show, to paint, or go for a walk. But nothing satisfies me. Everything just annoys me, and I end up starting 100 things and giving each thing 5 minutes before I abandon it in disgust. There can be no joy, and no fulfilment. Everything I eat makes me feel bloated, everything I write is wretched, everything I read is boring. I need to satiate my restlessness but nothing comes close. I can only hope to wait out this burnt-out desert of dissatisfaction.
I get this for 1-2 days max, and rarely, so I just use that time to do chores, knowing that everything else in life will feel like doing chores anyway, so i might as well get something done. Hate hate hate this state!
What I don’t have is the impulsivity, but that could vary person to person. I get impulsive during hypomania, but not mixed moods.
Does that sound anything like what you are experiencing?
It sounds like you could be. I would make an appointment as soon as you’re able so your dr can diagnose whether or not you are and consequently treat you appropriately
Sounds like abilify might not be working for you anymore. Do some reading on drugs and get an idea of what you do and dont want to take if your doc suggests a change
Thanks everyone for your responses, they are very much appreciated
@anon47167357: Yes. Basically my mom, my boyfriend, and therapist.
@Leaf: Ah, interesting to note that your warning sign includes agitation. Maybe a mood stabilizer would help… All I know is I’ve been feeling off for a while. Between the depression while spending money, and severe irritability today… I think talking to the pdoc is a good call. Thanks.
@Ribbon: Oh wow that does sound difficult to deal with. What I’ve been experiencing is like anhedonia but also compulsively shopping. Then today I got severe irritability but also energized…? So odd… Never experienced that before. Be well.
@LilyoftheValley: Yes, speaking to a doctor is a good idea. Been having issues between the pdoc’s billing department and my insurance, but will try to get things squared away this week. Thank you.
@bluebutterfly: Yikes, that is quite a rollercoaster you’re on. Silly question, but have you tried mood stabilizers in the past? Also, have you ever felt depressed but also spent a lot of money or done anything one might call “manic” while in a depressed state? Thanks and be well.
@Wave: Thanks for your reply, as I’ve read you deal with cycling and stuff a lot. Like, it is so weird that I’ve been spending money for the past 7ish months, but have been depressed for about 2 months… It all came to a head today… Scary feeling. Thanks and hope your med adjustment is treating you alright.
@anon84461028: Hmmm… I was afraid of that. Up until I stopped then started Abilify 2 months ago, it was working really well… I’m super reluctant for a med change, but I guess if I had to pick one it’d be Geodon for the weight neutral aspect. Thanks.
Maybe it’s not the abilify causing impulsiveness, maybe it’s the mood disorder aspect of your illness. Better to tell your pdoc everything and ask the right questions.
