I was scrolling through Patrick’s old post to see what was going on. He made a really valid point when he said he misses being psychotic sometimes. That is the same way I have felt lately. Is that pretty normal? Does anyone else feel this way?
Because, for all the negativity in psychoses, there must be something going on at the same time that is positive and valued. Even if it is only signaling that we needed help. We did need help, and getting psychotic worked where as maybe other ways of pleading for help didn’t work.
hmmm interesting. I think for me I just liked how quick time went by.
I think however we live, there is part of us that misses it when its gone, good or bad
I feel a little empty now. I definitely miss it, but I am also very aware that I was lucky to have had a good experience at all, and could have easily been a nightmare, and would have ended very badly either way if I had not found this forum. I just need to remember this and not go backwards.
No but I’m lucky in that my insight improves every day. I feel stronger with each pill I take. Ive been on meds three years and my insight still continues to improve daily. And my maturity. I think a lot of the board would agree this is true for me. At least the people who know me well can see how far I’ve come on meds.
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Psychosis, mysterious changes with less stress, but all in the realm of insanity. Recovery- denying your thoughts, stressed as can be, never can fully come back to reality, zombified by medicine.
-pick your poison lol
yeah I missed those paranoid days when I would be on the streets and dig into garbage cans, because I was too scared to join a homeless shelter or get any help. or those days I rejected food in the hospital because I thought it was medicated, and I just drank non-tampered milk cartons and wrapped food; pretty much starving myself. or that time I had suicidal thoughts because my brother didn’t respond to my text message.
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Rediculous post
When I was psychotic the first time, I believed that I had been cured of depression and anxiety and that the ‘brain study’ was ending and that I was going to get paid for being in the study (millions) and be able to use all the cool skills I had learned such as language, sports, acting, singing, dancing etc. It was a sort-of good trip with only a few scary spots. My second psychotic break was horrific. I suppose it depends on the specifics as to whether or not you miss it. I definitely do NOT miss being paranoid that I am going to be physically and emotionally tortured and/or sacrificed. I still have those feelings here and there. It’s very convincing and very scary and there is not much to miss.
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i thought it was only me. After facing situations of being on a bad mushroom trip and thinking that i just conquered death and i actually had power over him no matter how much he mentally raped me the night before you cant help but feel as if you reached some Godly status. Every psychotic break feels like an anime episode where despite the odds i face physically, mentally and realtionship wise with my “friends”. I always feel like im become stronger in the end leveling up like a Sayian. So returning from that life to a simple one where im just another human being sucks from time to time.
I disagree.
I totally get that most people have had a ■■■■ time with delusions, and I’ve had ■■■■ ones when I was very young.
The reason I think it is not ridiculous to talk about this is because when you have a grandiose purpose and then it stops, you can feel empty and lost and without purpose and helpless to change anything and so on.
Talking about stuff like this is what is keeping me from going back to drugs if I’m honest.
Sorry that it will annoy some people to read about stuff like this, but it is not wasted if it can also help someone?
Thats good that talking about it helps you. And definitely do stay away from drugs. Talking about my delusions only makes me feel worse and puts me in a hole. Its not something to be proud of and i would prefer it it hadn’t happened in the first place.
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Yes…I don’t miss the paranoia…but I do miss the excitement of psychosis. The adrenaline. Of feeling like something huge is happening and you’re right at the center of it all.
Life is so painfully dull when you’re sane.