I do not think the TV talks to me, but when I watch tv its like they are staring into me…and its designed to look like this right?

I do not hear voices, but I think and I can sometimes perceive my thoughts as if they were an internal voice that I control.

I do not hallucinate, visual, or otherwise.

I am not delusional, I really did see something strange happen that they couldn’t cover up.

I am not paranoid, I am often accurate. Im not a stoner, I just think faster than some people. I took the SAT at thirteen, I repeat myself because meds and people have caused trauma and PTSD so I do this to maintain relativity and I work to stay grounded.

I am not schizophrenic, bipolar, or schizoaffective. I’m just on a lot of meds to maintain the appearance of normal. Kind of like a Gift that you don’t want anyone to see, because you think its ugly and you’re actually poisoning her…or a Gift that needs to be medicated to shine, and heal.

Its the more I surrender the worse it gets, the more I resist the stronger i become. My mom is refusing meds and smoking weed. I am medicated and compliant and no longer feel like me after the 2 month injection. I really dont. I dont feel like me anymore.

Pride = SHUT UP

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It was about five days of silence. What was the point. Institutions are really just PHARMA FARMS. It was an amazing hospital, they gave me snacks all the time. But what was the point of being there…if no one says anything other than Im “schizoaffective” as a write off. Forces me to be baker acted when My insurance didn’t even cover it possibly.

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