I was SO stupid to tell my sister in law

That I want to leave my husband. I had posted on family whatsapp group that he’s in hospital and she phoned me and after I told her what happened with him, I confessed that I want to leave him.

This upset her so much - she said I can’t leave him

  • that he was there for me in my breakdowns and hospitalisations
  • that we’re made for each other
  • that we balance each other out hormonally
  • that he loves me deeply, even though he doesn’t tell me
  • that we’re the best thing that happened to each other
  • that I’m going to regret leaving him
  • that he needs me and I need him
  • that marriage isn’t easy - there will be sacrifice
  • that being single isn’t easy and I’ll be alone when I’m old
  • that his family don’t care about him except to give food
  • that he was very handsome when he was younger and the girls were queuing to see him or call him. When I asked why he didn’t get married sooner, she said one of the rejected girls could have put black magic curse on him (?!)
  • his siblings and mostly his brother probably jealous of him
    Etc etc…

She wants to even send me gifts from UK (where she lives) to get me to stay with him. So I was half forced to give her a list.

Oh God! She doesn’t understand it’s not his illness that I want to leave him for but his insidious negativity over the years that eroded me away. He’s a good and loving person but I feel depressed just thinking of how argumentative he can get and how I have to conform to his strict religious views. I can’t practice Islam in easy way around him. She said he loves me deeply but I just feel so suffocated.

If there’s one word to describe my marriage it’s this - claustrophobic

She doesn’t understand I need to look after my own mental health right now.

This isn’t about just taking a break, this is about making a break.

Wtf to do???

It sounds like you two are a good fit. I would stay with him.

I’ve walked out of a marriage and can relate. I still talk to my ex 20 years later but it wasn’t cool for a long time. Still. Time heals and you can still be friendly with your ex even at the beginnings. Sometimes you need to look after yourself and can relate to that. So 18 years ago I don’t regret taking that first step and leaving.

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That’s is exactly what I want to do. I want us to stay friends. My sister is divorced and her ex and her are still friends and he visits her sometimes. I don’t want to cut ties with my husband - I just need to break free of the marriage itself. I would like to stay in contact with him.

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I don’t know your situation but for what you tell me. All I can say is that leaving my ex was proven to be the right thing to do for me. We all tread different paths with life but I think you’ve made up your mind and I can support you in that.


I wish you all the best with which ever you decide @Hadeda

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Follow your heart, Sady!

What do they say?..

“It’s better to die standing than to live life on your knees.”

If you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells in your marriage, perhaps it is indeed time to make a change. We can all chip in with our thoughts on the matter, but only you can pull the trigger on a new life.

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Thanks @Wave @rogueone @anon39054230 for your support


My point exactly.

Be cool. Totally inappropriate and stop trying to score points for thinking your right. It’s someone going through a stressful part of their lives. This was in response to a flag people. Nothing to do with thread. Apologies.


Don’t let anyone decide who you should be with. Life’s too short and unexpected to stay unhappy or live by other people’s ways and beliefs. Just my opinion.

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I wish you the best of luck, whatever you decide to do.

I thought you were gay?


I’m straight with two daughters…married 20 years!


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