It’s 02:10 where I am and I’m EXHAUSTED. Ready for bed but wanted to tell you guys first all what happened
As you know from my previous threads in this last day, my husband and I been having problems in our marriage. Firstly with my sza/borderline symptoms scaring him - now with him scaring me!
He’s got temporal lobe epilepsy real bad and besides his seizures he gets sz-like psychosis.
This past evening he started getting really delusional and laughed and talked a lot to himself and paced around upstairs whilst I was anxiously below hovering by front door.
In end it was too much for me and I called his dad to come help me. And went to security guy in our complex to ask him to help too.
Whilst we waited for his parents to arrive, my husband was on phone to his cousin, warning him against “them” and then finally his parents came with his uncle too. His mom stayed in car and his dad and uncle went in house to talk to him.
Then things got violent and hubby pushed his uncle and dad and finally his uncle had a choke hold on him and security came to assist.
His dad left to get police and came back with armed response guys who decided what to do. Called state ambulance but they took so long they called police - but they took so long so we decided to call private ambulance even though it would cost.
Whilst waiting hubby was still ranting and trashed kitchen and opened and upset bird cage and Sky flew out. It was a mercy he didnt fly away out the door! But he was safe and later i cleaned cage and caught him. Phew!
Hubby also screamed OPEN THE GARAGE DOOR!!! over and over and woke up whole neighbourhood. He talked to neighbours who had come out and upset and confused them. Confused me too!
He told me earlier on this evening that the street near another uncle’s house would cause a spiritual splitting apart of us. That the area is polluted. He spoke of us being in plot to rob him - that’s why he attacked his uncle. He also attacked his dad a second time when he was praying upstairs and disturbed him so much his dad cried. I was in pieces myself.
Outside I spoke to his uncle and told him that this is the end of our marriage. This night-psychosis crisis happened before - in Dec 2013 - and I was ready to leave him but now that it’s happened again I decided it’s the end now. For my own safety. His uncle agreed.
It wasn’t only this that made me decide it’s best to leave him, but the insidious poisoning of my mind against others - his family, my family, Muslims in general, and our neighbour. He called him names to me and tonight the neighbour was so kind to me that I knew hubby was wrong about him.
He had habit of speaking ill of others and making me believe they are bad. I’ve finally realised he is even more toxic than his mom. I love him but I can’t cope with this anymore
So while he’s in hospital I plan to adjust to idea of life without him. I’m poor so I have to apply for disability, and I want to approach mental health organisation to ask their advice, and I’d like to be put on waiting list for group home for mentally ill as I doubt I’d make it on my own.
Then I’d stay with my parents till I get a place, and try to get job in their rural town if I can.
Hoping things will work out and I can make a way in world on my own… it’s hard to think my marriage is over but it just can’t continue anymore…
I don’t plan to marry again. I’m not suitable for marriage because of my sza/borderline and paranoia and my lack of interest in sex and kids.
I guess single will be better.
I hope I will be strong enough to break up with husband when he’s better and all soft with me. I’m terrified because it will break my heart but I just can’t live with his toxic behaviour anymore…
Oh God help me!!!