Last night, I couldn’t sleep because of voices. Mainly, there was a whispery skeletal voice telling me that there’s a reason I have such a hard time remembering anything. That being my fiancé stealing my memories to keep my submissive and docile so I’d be her servant. He also told me her motives are why she always cheats on me(which she doesn’t). This leads us to how I have reoccurring issues believing she’s cheating and using me. In the beginning of our relationship she did lie to me a lot about how she’s on a fetish site(that I’m now okay with) that she’d constantly hide. It drove me mad to the point I’d hack everything, dig through her phone behind her back and do all sorts of stuff like that. I never found anything showing she ever cheated on me but I always thought insignificant things pointed to it. Before we broke up and got back together, she’d also constantly hide her texts, deleting them and thinking I wouldn’t find out. These things still bother me a bit and adding the mixture of schizophrenia makes it hard to trust her even though things are beyond better. We’ve had talks about it all but I never really feel like it’s enough. I don’t want to leave her and the kids. I just find it hard to not only talk this deeply to her but to also express any emotions tied to the past.
I have been in a similar situation , where i lost everything including the one that i love all because i was too caught up in the bullshis and blinded of what were the true underlaying problems that i was faced with…try to focus more on yourself and what your doing wrong and try to correct your misdoings , spend more time on loving her and giving her your attention , less time on paranoid thoughts of what she might be doing behind your back…cause in reality if she were cheating on you , compulsive and controling behaviour is not what is going to win her over to stop…i guess its all in really do you love her or not ? or are you just in a relationship for the sake of it , i use to be in the relationship , the voices hit , i lost her , was never good enough to her , never really loved her enough…now im rendered helpless as i love her more then life its self due to the voices manipulation and am no longer in contention for that special place in her life…
make sure its love , and love with all your life id say , although its easier said then done , ive had to go through 1 year of mind control and torture / abuse to realize how much my ex gf means to me and now am in the proccess of having to let go…its hard but try to keep the flame alive , be exciting , spontaneous , spoil her and make her feel appreciated and see if she reacts appropriately , end of the day what are you more afraid of , her cheating vs her not even being with you at all ? if shes worth it , make the changes within yourself so that you feel adequate and loved by her because your deserving and appreciated by her
Thanks buddy, that’s exactly what I needed to hear.
hows it going ? any positive results ?
For a while. It comes and go’s. I just started a new job and have a rough schedule and sometimes I start feeling like I’m sinking into a delusion that I just know, probably because of psychicness, that she’s just at home up to something. I’m able to get over it now for the most part. I’m mainly worried about losing my sanity and along with it, my job.
i feel ya on the sanity part , best wishs and stay strong , the psychokenesis is mostly all shet , rarely has mine been right , mostly its other people towards me that is more accurate rather then my own readdings on them
good luck
Well, it turns out I was kinda right. She said she never actually met up with some one (except when we broke up for a bit) but she was up to things online and on her phone. I found a lot from the entirety of our relationship. Then I got upset and started ■■■■ with another woman. And things got all fucky and weird and now I’m back to the same relationship. A lot of ■■■■ has happened recently.
But truthfully i still think maybe she’s seen someone in person before. Things I found pointed towards it and while I was withdrawaling from methadone at one point she was out drinking with her ex without telling me where she was or what she was up to. So a lot of things that I worried about she convinced me wasn’t true and that it was me being crazy. Next month we’ll have been engaged for 1 year.