Schizophrenia.com

Med compliance

#1

Guys. I didn’t take my stupid AP last night because I am so paranoid that it’s poisoned. Now I think the color purple is injecting me with thoughts when I go to sleep. I hate myself for not taking it but I get SO stressed at med time that I usually am compliant anyways (last night was the first time in years that I haven’t taken a med), but sometimes the thoughts are too much.

Does anyone else struggle with this or have any thoughts?

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#2

You will have a long tough road if you do your own thing with your meds. As long as your doc is on board with what you are doing with your meds you should be alright.

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#3

Ugh, I know you’re right in my head! I know it! My doc is for sure not okay with me not taking my AP… but I was honest with him and let him know I didn’t take it one night.

how do I get through stupid med time?! Am I alone in feeling paranoid about taking them?

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#4

You definitely are not alone. These meds were meant to be taken a certain way that your doc will tell you. It is really dangerous not to follow a plan, but if your doc tells you not take it you should be alright.

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#5

No, he didn’t tell me not to take it… he told me I need to take it. I feel awful. I didn’t sleep at all and I’m feeling worse this morning. I should’ve taken it.

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#6

Your meds are not poisoned @bedubbs. If you want to get well I would continue to take your meds. Thinking that your meds are poisoned are thoughts caused by sz. It is pretty safe to take them. Do you have a reason for thinking they are poisoned?

#7

I’m on court ordered meds. If you refuse meds for long enough it will happen to you. It isn’t that bad, but I was on a terrible med for years because I had to be on injections.

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#8

I have thoughts about the government trying to pin a crime on me and it’s this huge conspiracy to make me look crazy so they can cover up their own crime. That’s the main reason. Is that the sz talking or do you think it’s possible?

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#9

No the goverment thing is one of those common delusion groups like dead people or aliens. Myne were dead people. If you take your meds you can prove to yourself that it is just paranoia and you can expect it sometimes but those things are not always real. Sorry if your symptoms are acting up, I know how bad they make you feel.

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#10

Yeah it feels awful. I end up with all of this self-hate because I feel like I’m disappointing everyone in my life and I’m disappointed in myself, you know?

#11

Yeah, I get that. It is not something that is your fault though. I find people that actually understand sz, wont actually blame you for these things.

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#12

I have trouble with compliance but not because I think meds are evil. In my case it’s forgetfulness. That’s the reason I went on an LAI.

#13

Please remember this conversation. If you don’t take your meds, it will haunt you. Your cognition will suffer forever. Professionals used to tell me I’d end up in the hospital. I thought, I can stay out and be off meds. Something will always put you back on them, and if you keep touching the doses for a long period of time thinking it’s not helping, it makes you extremely deluded and unaware. For better or for worse. Not all meds work. That’s why I’m non compliant. I weigh the pros and cons constantly.

#14

Gah, you guys are right. I’ve got to take it tonight. I just got OUT of the hospital like a week ago for the fourth time and don’t want to go back. I wasn’t in it for non-compliance or anything though, Zyprexa just didn’t work for me.

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#15

As someone who has delusions around meds, this is how full blown episodes start. Just look at my month of March this year- it lead me to the hospital.

I’m still working on methods other than have someone else deal my drugs to deal with me taking my drugs. Delusions as I can described as a degree in which I can go from full blown believing them to a gradation of how intense the belief is. It is something that I hope I can work out.

#16

By far the thing that most determines your chances for survival is how clear your head is. I don’t care if you bench press three-hundred pounds, if you get stupid you’ll get in trouble. It doesn’t sound like you’re violent, but you don’t want to be walking around out of touch with the real world.

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#17

@MES It’s nice to know I’m not the only one with delusions around meds. Sometimes I’m worried I’m alone in that but yeah someone holds onto my medication and gives it to me once a week and then checks mine to see if I took my meds but that doesn’t help me with day to day you know?

@crimby Yeah I really don’t want to go back to hospital or be court ordered or anything. I’m not violent (except with myself) but I hate getting so frustrated when people don’t understand my thoughts. I just want to be like everybody else

#18

@bedubbs The day to day is hard. It is why my parents don’t want me living on my own cause of the med thing. And just if I can be functional-something that I don’t know if my parents know completely to the degree of how it varies day to day.

#19

I’m med compliant. My pdoc is incompetent.

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#20

Yeah when I first started taking meds I thought the side effects meant I was being poisoned and I threw them out. It can take a while to learn to trust and get used to being reliant on medication. It gets easier and the more mistakes you make the more it gets hammered in that dropping or skipping meds is a bad idea. Eventually ya learn your lesson and hopefully find a med that doesnt give you side effects.