I t would sure beat Jupiter.
I realized something lately that absolutely astounds me.
I’ll make it short and simple.
I work my job so I am around people a lot during the day. In my job as a janitor I am often in the workers offices. I usually have to vacuum more than 15 or so offices and dozens of cubicles with the people in them. I see the same people a lot but getting new people is pretty common since they are soldiers and they are shipping in and out.
On one level in my life I am always surprised when people like me. But on another level when someone doesn’t like me I am surprised. But there are people who I start out liking and they like me back but then they will frown at me or say something mean or negative and I just assume they don’t like me anymore and we don’t want anything to do with each other anymore. There are several situations like this at work and in other areas of my life to.
But it seems that over the past few months I discovered that all this must have been in my mind and that people never stopped liking me and that it was all on my own side. There are several people at work who I stopped talking too more than a year ago. But just lately I smiled or was friendly to them and they totally were friendly and I think they never stopped liking me but they were wondering why I had stopped being friendly to them.
I thought a year or two ago that one mean look or one insulting comment from them meant they had stopped liking me. I am finding out that in many areas I was dead wrong.And these people are so nice that they actually apparently forgive me and they want to be friendly still. WTF? I run into this phenomena the dentist, at the supermarket and else where. Does this happen to you guys?
Yes! I have to remember, sometimes (frequently) I have bad days and inadvertently make faces or am so obsessed with my own fears that I also make people think I don’t like them.
So I try to remember, other people have problems too and it isn’t necessarily related to me, even if they do frown in my general direction.
You don’t sound like having Erotomania. I never met you, but from your description, people like someone who smiles at them and friendly.
I’m trying to get over the need for everyone to like me, myself.
I try not to think about what other people think of me. If I run into problems where I volunteer, I just tell myself that people probably have to vent about me or things that I do or other people do throughout the day. I try not to talk bad about people behind their backs, so that puts me in the mindset that other people aren’t talking bad about me behind my back. It’s okay for them to vent if I do some frustrating things though.
I do talk about the office brat behind his back though (to my family only). Some people I just can’t stand. Fortunately they are few and far between.
Correction: I don’t talk bad about the brat. I just relay the facts of what he does, and they are bad.
I once had a “sworn enemy” in my grad program. She’d always contradict my ideas during class. I’d get all mad and glare or bite my lip and just stare at the floor.
It seemed like she just didn’t like me and wanted to not agree with me. Others thought she was disagreeable also.
Later on, after I graduated, I got an interview for a position as an English tutor…well, guess who was my interviewer? MY MORTAL ENEMY! Yes, she worked there, got a top position and took over the hiring process.
To my total bewilderment, she seemed genuinely happy to see me! She started talking about all the classes, her thesis, all this stuff, and I was like, wait, I thought you hated me! In the end, I got the job! I guess I mistook her criticism for a personal attack on my intellect. Or maybe she just didn’t realize she was doing that…either way, it was like WHOA!
I don’t consider her my archnemesis anymore (much to the amusement of my mom, who had listened to me countless times complaining about her being in my classes during my grad years!)
That’s great that people are accepting you!
You sound a little Manic. There is Neurotic, Psychotic and Psychopathic…don’t forget which one you are