Maybe a new friend?

I’ve been trying to befriend a new guy at my psychiatric clinic who just started going there last Wednesday. He’s been in prison and is a cocaine addict. The only reason I got involved was I saw a cop trying to help him by driving him to the clinic in a patrol car. All he had was a $1.75 and a bus transfer ticket. I offered him $5, but he declined it and said I could buy him a soda out of the vending machine.

He said in group therapy that he couldn’t be trusted with money, and if he had any cash, he would spend it on coke. At least he’s being honest. He’s SzA Bipolar type, and I am Sz too. He’s 43 years old, and I have been looking to make friends with a younger person who I can appoint to close out my bank accounts and scatter my ashes when I die. I’m 62 years old, and am old enough to be his father.

But if he gets into the cocaine, alcohol, or weed again, I’m going to cut it off. The AA Big Book says people can recover if they have the capacity to be honest, so I’m hoping that happens with him.

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He lost and doesn’t know what happened to his Social Security card, Driver’s License, Medicaid, and Medicare cards. He says Motor Vehicles has his license and picture on file. His case manager has a reliable person she can give money to and take him to Motor Vehicles. I’m going to give my case manager some cash to get him an ID, with the understanding I’ll get the change back. The new guy isn’t going to be able to do anything without an ID.

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That’s very nice of you.

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Interesting post:

Im guessing this is the same guy you bought the smokes for.

I start group counseling next week.

I’m expecting some commonalities with the other members of group therapy when I start next week.

If I was looking for a new friend I might help someone get a DL or ID.SS card.etc

I wouldn’t be buying someone cigs. But that’s just me.

Either way it’s a very nice gesture.

Hoping things work out for you

GL

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Thanks @anon99082702 @Leaf. I’m probably not going to get him anymore smokes. Zombie mommie said she was a hardcore smoker, and if she could quit anyone can. I’m going tell him I don’t have any discretionary spending money left to buy him cigarettes with, which is mostly true after I took out the money to get him an ID with.

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Good plan.

I quit smoking too. And I also think that if I Can do it anyone can. People fail at quitting smoking because they make things hard on themselves by doing it cold turkey. I’m not saying that cold turkey doesn’t work. But there are SOOOO many options out there to help quit. I was on a stop smoking aid for 3+ years

Illinois has/had a tobacco quit hotline 800 number you used to be able to call and get free nicotine lozenges/patch.

Might want to google that and see if you have those resources in your area

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I just went through an 8 week once a week counseling session(s) through Rutgers and Robert Wood Johnson. My counselor had conviction when he said Cold Turkey is the way the majority try to quit, and is actually the worst/hardest way!!!

@ElGato it takes a little further, but a shard of thought you made me have is Could you buy him patches and write him a handwritten note saying you’re rooting for him or something…

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Thanks @anon99082702. I’ll look into that. I quit smoking back in May 2021, cold turkey, because I was having problems breathing. It turned out I had emphysema. After ten years my breathing has gotten better, and my oxygen saturation is like 98% now. I’m still having to do lung cancer screenings though. I was really motivated to quit because of the emphysema.

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Thanks @anon64158233. That’s a good idea.

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That’s because people want immediate results. In my experience people underestimate the power of nicotine. I’ve seen the t a thousand times on this board. The old, ‘I just smoked my last cigarette post.’ I can’t name one member who made a post like that and had successfully quit.

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So your mentally done with nicotine then? It still messes with me 5 years being nicotine-free.

Basically what prevents me from smoking is I know it will lead to me not going to the gym & ballooning back up to 300 lbs

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It’s very nice done… and the older you get, the more difficult it is to find new friends. Best luck.

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Yes I’m definitely through with the cigarettes and have no desire to smoke now, mainly because emphysema is what killed my grandmother. She smoked until the day she died though, was on oxygen, and couldn’t hardly do anything.

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Thanks @bluebutterfly

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The new guy is really good at socializing with people. I just hope he can find a way to get to AA or NA meetings. He says by the court order he’s supposed to go to four meetings a week. There are two meetings a week at our psychiatric clinic.

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It looks like blue u have a good heart

Keep it up

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Thanks @steffifan. Arkansas has a helpline for people wanting to quit cigarettes. I will give him the number Monday when I see him. The number is only answered Monday through Friday though.

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well thats kind of u

wish u the best

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