so i saw the counsellor today in class and we went and spoke in a private room and she was telling me that she was finding it hard to get anything out of me but then i started telling her about my problems and she was writing all of this stuff down and basically it was a lot of different parts of the mind that make up the whole,
for instance… she had written down all of my sz symptoms when i am off of medication and circled them, then she wrote down all of my struggles that i am having just now and cirled then and also social problems and circled them and she also got loads of info out of me, more than i thought i even had and so we have a lot to work on now and she wants to see if there is anymore (which i am sure there will be) so i asked her if she can give me a copy of all of her notes and she said that was ok… so i feel like i am finally getting answers to my problems,
i did tell her that i need to take medication though and stuff but she is ok with that, i think she is a very good counsellor and i think coming on here and being able to talk on these forums has really helped me to open up and gave me a lot of insight 
feels like everything has lead up to this so hopefully i can sort out my problems now
or maybe i am being too optimistic haha
anyway thing are looking up and i am starting to think of going to a baptist college to study as well as this course (i am hoping that i can do two part time courses at the same time without anybody noticing) haha bc i think i would like them both. hope i can deal with it but these social outgoings are really helping me.