My partner made a joke last night and her parents took it seriously so they are royally pissed off at not just her but me too.
They still made me clean their animals’ poop but they said I will no longer be paid. So I told my partner that I’m going to take it out of their rent. She told me no it will just cause a fight. We did agree we are not buying their dogs’ food anymore same for their bearded dragon and rabbit. Unfortunately I’m the only one who will clean the rabbit cage, cat boxes and dog poop. I dont want animals to suffer because my inlaws dont know jack ■■■■ about animals except for their fish tanks.
They’re abusive. You need to get out of there. If they’re not going to pay you, don’t do the work. You need to stand up for yourself. You need to get out of there ASAP. Live in a shitty studio apartment. Anything will be better than what you’re doing now.
After I told them im not buying or doing for their animals anymore they changed their tune and they said mainly they are upset at their daughter for her comment. They gave me twenty which they took me to buy super worms and a heat bulb for kaisei.
I know I cant trust them but my mother in law said ok but my father in law was pissed.
However, them threatening you in the first place is the problem. It’s like when my boyfriend punched me for something dumb and then apologized as if it made the punch okay. IT’S NOT OKAY!
You are living in an abusive household and you need to get out.
They let me take the kids to the park. We were there maybe two hours. I did hear Aaron while there but I was so focused on watching the kids i didn’t let it bother me.
I bought them hot cocoa and me a coffee from the gas station so I spoiled them a little.
Trust me i know! I told my partner after mess last night I want out of here but she knows her parents will make things harder for us if we do. They threatened to take us to court over the phones last time we moved out in 2013. We lasted a few months but because my and her health we moved back in
We keep talking about but I think my partner is afraid to. Last time we moved out we got ripped off by our landlord and my mental health suffered because she was always gone and I was always alone. I was hospitalized and she blamed herself
There’s ways all around the reasons you give for not moving out. I’m not in your position but the most obvious point is that you just ran into one bad landlord. It doesn’t mean they are all bad. I grew up in apartments and I’ve lived in some in my adult life.I’m living in one now (by the way, I don’t mean to criticize you, I know there’s stuff I don’t understand about your situation) but I have had good landlords and some that are just neutral. None of them ripped me off.
As to being alone all day. Been there, done that. I have attended day programs when I was unemployed and had nothing to do. There are support groups, walking clubs, church groups, volunteer jobs. Or any combination of these. And these are just off the top of my head, there’s even more stuff out there. I looked into a program where a mental health worker comes to your house and tries to help you. I had one try to help me but she came to my apartment to interview me and said I was too high functioning for them to help me.
You have to get creative. It’s a big world and there’s organizations or clinics or mental health agencies that want to help you if you look for them and they will brainstorm and will help you develop a plan and a strategy to move out. I’m not making this stuff up, everything I talk about in this thread is real and it’s only the tip of the ice berg.
Because it pretty much sounds like in your answer that you are going to give up looking for a place for yourselves and it sounds like you resigned yourself to living with your tormentor indefinitely. Can you see why I would think this? You can’t stay with those people forever and it sounds like they could kick you out arbitrarily any time they want, so knowing that, you need a plan. It won’t be easy to move away but it’s not impossible.
I still don’t understand why you and your partner can’t get on the computer once a day for 30 or 40 minutes and look up places and programs that will help you or look for better areas you can move to where the cost of living is cheap and rent is affordable. You have the means at your fingertips to find the solutions to your problems. You can be smart about this and find places.
I saw a trailer for rent but when I called and told them my pets they were like no reptiles they are diseased. Seriously said that. I saw one place tbh I might call about 450 for rent but no dogs which is okay I dont have dogs. It didn’t say anything about cats I worry because most likely my inlaws will give us their cats they hate cats.
They’re not your responsibility, though. If they would prevent you from finding a place to live, don’t take them, they’re not yours, you don’t have to.
They hate cats but their little girl loves cats but she doesn’t like them as much as her dogs. She was adopted by my inlaws she is technically their granddaughter but she spends the week with her biological father and her step mom.
You have consistently placed every one else’s needs above your own and minimized your well-being in the process.
I can understand your fears, but the sad thing is that a lot of your fears are ideas they have planted in your mind. It seems to me that these are obvious attempts to coerce you into serving their needs and to ensure this cycle of abuse, control and manipulation stays in place.
Quite often, people who are abused fail to recognize the abuse and blame themselves for it.
I’m sorry you are dealing with these and other problems, but there comes a time when an individual needs to address their issues and deal with them.
I understand how confusing all of this is, but please consider finding a means to seperate yourselves from your in-laws and become more independent.
Nothing is permanent, if you find later that you need to reconsider your options, then you can take the necessary steps.
It just seems to me at least you need to help yourself and your partner learn to take better care of yourselves and become independent.
