having one of those days where I am deeply deeply lonesome, but also wanting to isolate myself from the people around me because I can’t deal with their noise / activity levels
tried hanging out on social channels with ppl I know online but got very discouraged when I felt like they were ignoring me, and when a few of them made jokes that felt insulting (this is the way these people joke around, they weren’t being mean or targeting me really but I felt hurt)
I have felt like this for LONG HOURS today and I can’t wait until everyone is asleep, the house is quiet and I can lay down in bed and try to calm down
just… really feeling like I can’t cope anymore. not just this but everything that’s happening right now. I don’t want to do it anymore. I can’t.
does anyone else deal with days of crippling loneliness coupled with the desire to be alone, and how do you cope with it?
I used to drink alcohol when I was isolated. Talking to people online always went sour after a while. You should develop a creative talent or study philosophy, that helped me a lot. Focusing for long periods of time has always been difficult for me though. My mind wanders too much.
Pondering philosophy also helps me @qwertie . I sit and write essays of theories on the universe, psychosis, dreams, reality, etc. It helps most of the time, although occasionally it can feed into my delusions on reality but it keeps my mind busy and helps my delusions stay on a safe innocent level without turning against my loved ones. Otherwise i tend to obsess and twist my interactions with people to fit my insecurities within.
My latest theories involve quantum mechanics, multiple universes/dimensions and string theory. All kind of widing back to psychosis and SZ.
Mainly because i feel we with SZ are gifted with a sort of vision (others call hallucinations) or inherent openess into or thru membranes of dimensions and universes being that i view reality as purely subjective to each observer, and an objective reality is the ultimate truth, although impossible to attain thru the human condition. We just do not quite yet attain the ability to focus or understand what we percieve. But that is just my own wacky philosophy. Not meant to trigger anyone its just my way of finding or hoping that there is positivity in our struggle.
I Will probably read all night tonight sitting by wifes hopital bed, and further my theories to keep sane, if you can call it that.
But i also find it hard to think with others jabbering on about nonsense when i have some deep curiosity about a subject im trying to dive into.
I am very frequently isolated and lonely. I have no friends in this area and my old friends are too far away and not understanding. They are judgmental. I journal a lot although, like @Reggie, it tends to feed into my delusions a bit. I watch TV and try to visit with my children whenever I can. I actually don’t have the answer. I also see my tdoc twice a week and that helps too.
Wow! At least several other folks here interested in philosophy. That’s cool! I also spend a lot of time contemplating philosophical ideas. But when my loneliness levels spike I tend to study the American Civil war as well. I totally understand the OP about wanting to be alone and at the same time being lonely. I also have very few if any human friends but MI is to blame not the person IMFUO. I think getting a hobby or an interest can help a ton.
I read what you said and can relate. I don’t have an answer but do get days (and they are long days) of those conflicting emotions you mention. I have sz so it comes with the territory. And yes, it does make you tired. Sleep will replenish your energy to fight another day, but it won’t stop you feeling less lonely or isolated.
Admitting that to yourself is the first step. Then I try to change it by concentrating on something that engages my interest in life again. Anything to get me out of the revolving cage that encloses me. It might be something mundane like watching the changing sky or listening to music or it could be something which gets me outside of myself for an hour like a pastime or leaving the house for a walk or being with others.
I’ve learned you have to be flexible. If one strategy to resolving the feeling of loneliness is not working I try another. The point is there are a thousand and one things available which abates the feeling of isolation. What counts is to keep trying and not let it become an imaginary monster that cannot be defeated.
