I am 18 yrs old and I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia. I am currently not medicated because I am to scared to go. everyday consits of being terrified of every person I see and even when no ones there. I always feel like the worlds out to get me. I cant sleep at night because of it. I hear voices telling me my boyfreind is lieing or cheating. they make me angry and upset. it convinces me that what I see isnt real. And that what it shows and tells me is real. I feel alone all the time never haveing anybody to talk to that understands. the people in my life get angry and short fused because I cant function. I can’t get up and eat and showerly reguarly even brushing my hair is so hard to get myself to do. Everybody around me treats me awfully because I dont work right it makes me wonder whats the point in liveing im all alone anyways. please someone help I dont know what else to do.
What kind of mental health resources do you have near you? Is there any day program or support group or mental health clubhouse near you that you could join? Being around people who are going through the same thing you are going through can be very comforting. Believe me, it is worth sticking around. Many of us improve when it comes to symptoms you just have to give it time. I don’t quite understand why you’re not on meds. You’re afraid to go pick them up? Or too afraid to see your doctor? You don’t make that clear. You know you can have meds mailed to you in many areas? Other people here are going through what you’re going through so you are not alone. Where I live I can have a therapist or counselor who will come see me in my house. Maybe you could look into that. I have paranoid schizophrenia. I’ll tell you, it is always worse at the beginning but it often gets better. Good luck.
I was right where you were when I was 18…I didnt have quite as strong negative symptoms (absence of normal behaviors) but I did experience a serious lack of motivation and drop in functioning. I had very similar positive symptoms (presence of abnormal experiences and behaviors) so I know how you feel. I was an honors student at an international school. I nearly failed honors physics. I had been a straight A student so it was a clear indicator of something gone terribly wrong and everyone noticed that I wasnt myself. That and I had been a bodybuilder and lost 40lbs in 6 months.
Medication, girl. I am now a third year psychology major and know a lot about schizophrenia and treatments, and trust me, in order for your life to get better, you will have to take medication religiously.
I am doing quite well. My body is in incredible shape, I was a competitive powerlifter for a month actually, I just stopped because I got kicked of the team for some combination of not following the training program and drama. Now I am going back to bodybuilding, a safer sport. Anyways, yeah you can still have a normal life on meds, dont be afraid of them. Sure, theyre sedating, you will have to drink a lot of coffee. Strong ass cups of coffee, I am drinking a very strong big mug of coffee right now before going to a family function.
If you have any specific questions, private message me, I have been through your situation to come out as a straight A student and outstanding weightlifter yet again. It is harder, life with schizophrenia, but the challenges change the further you go in recovery and it is actually sort of fun for someone who likes challenges like I do! 
Im pretty hard boiled after schizophrenia. Unless my goals are interfered with, I am quite stable and stick to healthy habits like taking 3 medications, sleeping well, being a perfectionist in college, smoking 15 cigarettes a day LOL (yeah dont start smoking kid, we schizophrenics get instantly addicted) and I have stable relationships with friends and have had friends with benefits since my illness, have dated plenty of people without much success, and am now dating someone with relatively a lot of success.
But yeah, medications. I used to be afraid of meds, I thought they would make me a zombie. Well with coffee they dont. Its pretty easy, take your meds how the doctor tells you to (I have to take mine with food for example) and drink caffeine to fight the sedation the meds cause. Everyone on this forum is a caffeine junkie.
Just remember that it is just your mind playing tricks on you. It isnt real. Open up to your boyfriend about this sort of stuff. You are lucky to have one!
Here is a list of things to help along with a script:
You need to see a psychiatrist. If you feel like you can’t take it anymore, tell you parents “I need to go to the hospital.” A hospital is a safe and fast track for getting on the right medication.
To be sure you get a good doctor, have your parents call a psychiatrist’s office during business hours. The receptionist should be able to recommend the best hospital in your area.
The psychiatrist that I see now knew the one at the hospital I was at and said that he was pretty good. The meds worked well for me, so he kept me on them.
When you get to the hospital be sure to tell them what you just told us. They need to know all of your symptoms.
Show this forum to your parents, so they know where you are getting this information. You can even print this out (at least my stuff).
don’t worry, there’s just sth wrong with your brain chemical balance, we all have had the same situations as you, when have you become schizophrenic and what happened to you to become so?
Being the age you are, the decisions you make will have a major impact on your future. If you have to have med’s you should take them, but there is a down side to the medications. The newer medications are not nearly as unpleasant as the old ones, but they do have undesirable side effects. They take a lot of physical strength away from you, and mess up your body temperature regulation mechanisms, so that you are more susceptible to hyperthermia in summer and hypothermia in winter. This was bad for me because I liked to backpack. That is out of the question now. Working outside in the weather will be impossible for you. Other than that, the newer medications aren’t bad.
I dont know if its worth it I already dont have enough strength to get through the day.
thought i would say hi.
take care