Live and let live, or

A couple of days ago my husband and I were visiting with a couple friends on the back porch. My friend asked about my daughter’s pregnancy. I expressed concern about a miscarriage as she is only 2 months pregnant and it is her first pregnancy. My friend turned to me and snapped “Will you stop it, that’s why you’re in the shape you’re in” and I just looked at my husband and went inside without a word. I was very upset because I felt she was commenting on my mental health issues as if I were causing sza by worrying too much. If that’s what she meant it is out of pure ignorance. But my problem is I feel that she threw my illness up in my face which is not cool.

Anyway she left and made a comment to my husband as she left that she better just go because I was mad at her. This person calls me usually 2 to 3 times a day just to check in. It’s annoying but she doesn’t have anyone else in her life really. Since that day she hasn’t called me at all. And I certainly haven’t called her. When we got home yesterday she had left a little gift haging on the front door for me, I guess as a olive branch.

My question is should I let it go and still be her friend and just be careful about expressing my real emotions in front of her or should I let the friendship go and move on. FYI she’s the type of person who is constantly borrowing things and never giving back and she does call and stop by (without calling first) a lot. Also she always judges people and seems to think she’s better than everyone else. What to do?

This sounds like you don’t really like her very much so is it really a big loss if you don’t speak to her again?

like everyone there is good and bad. Mostly I feel obligated because she has no family here and she doesn’t seem to keep friends very long. I consider her like a charity. I bring her food, I give her cigarettes, I’ve lent her money, I bought her clothes and I’ve given her my time all with respect and love. Right now my feelings are hurt so I don’t feel like being generous and there is no other basis to our friendship. So I’m thinking I just let it go then. But why do I feel so guilty?

Friends are hard to come by. You have to weigh the good things about her vs the bad things and find out what you are able to put up with. Some of the best times in my life were with friends. And the worst times. They say you learn more about life when things are going bad then when they are going good.

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