Jokes tell some funny ones

post funny ones below,
I know this isn’t probably funny, but it’s one I just made up, it’s a joke about the two lines of thought of mine in schiz:

there’s a guy inbetween a bat and a ball,
The ball says to the bat,
Watch where you are swinging,
And the bat and ball don’t meet eye to eye.
So the bat asks the guy, what did I miss? And the guy responds,
Don’t worry, he’s " just out of the ballpark"

call it a homerun lol,it’s a dumb corny one that probably makes no sense, if you have better ones post below

4 Likes

How do u tell if a biker is happy?
The bugs in their teeth

2 Likes

Where do whales get weighed?
The whale weigh station.

What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?
Hallo-mi!

2 Likes

Here is the joke of the day from june 25th from the medical news bulletin. It’s very offensive.

Family physician: I saw 40 patients yesterday, and one of them had schizophrenia. Compared to everyone else, the schizophrenic patient was the most normal.

4 Likes

I still find it strange what some people find offensive. There are some political people that people seem to find offensive but when you look at what they actually believe in it isn’t out of the norm.

1 Like

Mickey mouse and Minnie mouse were getting a divorce…Mickey’s lawyer stood up and said, “Mickey mouse wishes to get a divorce with Minnie mouse on grounds of insanity”…Mickey Mouse stood up and yelled…“I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she was f**king Goofy !!”

7 Likes

How many schizophrenics does it take to change a light bulb?
1000. One to hold the bulb in the socket and 999 to turn the house.

2 Likes

I stayed up all last night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

2 Likes

Sleeping well every night??? Increased productivity??? Elevated mood??? Get to the doc quick it could be fatal

1 Like

how many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb??? Just one but the light bulb really has to want to change

3 Likes

so you’re an OSU fan in that case I’m an OU fan…

1 Like

If vampires don’t have a reflection in mirrors than how do they stay so neat? I’ve never seen a vampire that wasn’t groomed perfectly and dressed impeccably.

I bought some shoes of my drug dealer the other day.
I don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day.

5 Likes

What did the Bhuddist monk say to the hot dog vender? - Make me one with everything.
Why do Eskimos have refridgerators? - To keep their food from freezing.

6 Likes