You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. I’m also struggling at the moment, disability benefit doesn’t do enough for me. Abilify makes me spontaneous/spend for happiness (I’m certain of it) and unfortunately - to keep the facade of chemical happiness that Ability induces in me - I need to work.
I’ve reached out to a local place of worship to offer voluntary teaching but I feel scared. I feel scared that I won’t do it if I get the chance to or that I’ll feel bad and stigmatised for trying.
I feel ya. Being on disability in the U.S. can really suck sometimes. Like after paying my rent (which went up after signing my new lease) and paying bills and buying things I need like food and toiletry items I’m nearly broke.
I might as well walk around town with a shopping cart with roadkill carcasses hanging off it. LOL.
Aside from the crappy sleep I get my motivation has been down for months now. I don’t know what that’s about. I think it’s my med. I’m not nearly as interested in things as I used to be. I’m happiest when I’m productive and haven’t been for a while.
For one thing it is 90 degrees usually where I live in the day, and a very humid heat. I work outside all day by the way
I work for my stepdad and his company, he sometimes works me long hours. On top of the fact that I’m very rushed on a time schedule. I feel like I’m taken advantage of in a way. I make what the average factory worker makes starting out in my area. But he does provide me with a vehicle
I have to work this job because I’ve ruined my job record due to schizophrenia and having to quit after a couple of months and stress and delusions set it.
I’m always afraid I won’t be able to find another job if I have to quit. But I do hate my job
Idk maybe I should be thankful I can work and have a job, and in a way I am! I think always working (and being able to work) helped a lot with my recovery! but I’m miserable during the day I won’t lie
