Ive suffered enough that i am ugly, who else?

Even some of my friends said it in my back that i am ugly… i am fed up of feeling like this. Ok, there is also the intelligence but i have problems with this too :grin:. There is one pdoc in my country who said that often the mill people are not pretty… i dont believe its the case of everyone but in my case, the illness destroyed me definitely… its not nothing a life without any physical activity, with strong negatives who difform your face etc etc…

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When I was young, in my youth and 20’s through my 30’s, I was pretty cute. But, then I got put on AP’s and I got fat. So, then I was ugly for years. Now, I’m not fat anymore but I’m too old now to be cute. I’m 57 now. Smartphones and MyFitnessPal.com app came along too late for me.

Oh Anna, I’ve seen your picture; you’re not ugly.


Men are judged by the amount of money they have or their athleticism. Women are judged by their beauty. It’s ingrained in all different races and cultures.

You’re not ugly. I’m sorry you are suffering from low self esteem regardless.

i used to be smart and lean in my teens. after dx and med i put 10kgs and from then i am struggling for 17 years. but i still hope i can make it. hope u also can do it. its the way we perceive the illness.

yup, Ive certainly suffered enough - everything would be different if I was born beautiful. All I have now is to be a good person, I hope the pretty girls remember to be nice too.

I am sorry @Anna1 you are beautiful. I hope you feel better soon

I’m partially convinced (used to be fully convinced) that my first depressive episode changed the way my face was developing. After that episode my face became unsymmetrical, with one half being slightly lower than the other, and the “sagging” side looks very tired and sad when my face is in resting position.

I’m not ugly, but that side of my face has been an insecurity of mine for a long time now.

none of my friends doesn’t say to me anymore that I am pretty. its just my mom who says it. which is already ok.
But gosh, I look terrible now after 17 years between 4 walls and all these aps… I am flat in my back and proeminent in my front. I have this big belly, big boobs, double chin… the meds are also uglfying but I am more afraid from my depression and the negatives and the paranoia. They really change my body and face. Ok, I would like to inform you that I am a bit dysmorphophobic but I dont want to get more ugly but this illness really changed me.

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tbh, I am more concerned about my mental health, I dont care how I look now. but I wish I was relieved by the meds. with a bit of a good mood and some confidence in me. I dont see well how I am. its the same with others for me tbh…

When I was a young man, I used to kind of look like George Clooney on crack.

Now sadly, I just look like crack.

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I find it dumb to complain like this. it was more a complain about my future physic appearance if I continue to live like this. I ve degradated enough already, I dont want to do it more… even when iwas off meds I was too ■■■■■■ up and suffering to feel pretty. everybody can feel pretty, even if he is not.and that’s how it should be. but I start to hate my illness. I dont live at all.

I think risperidone makes me look weird, like a freak show at a circus that everyone stops and stares at. I would rather look like a clown with a big red nose and face paint, but no…instead I look like a drugged up dopey alien with a poke out belly and brain dead like a monkey who’s eaten his own brains with chop sticks. Plus I look 10 years younger than I should because I’m as white and pale as a snowman on a holiday at the North Pole.

If schizophrenia was a drug I’d be overdosed with it like a Amy whinehouse clone on meth.

I don’t think I’m ugly, though if my insides were represented by my outsides, I think I would be.

Anna, Do you know of ‘Bulgarian Melody’ by Marta Sebestyen? It is one of the most beautiful pieces I’ve ever heard. Do you like it?

Nope, tomasina, never heard of it :(… But I am a bit insensible to the music now, it sucks…

Oh so sorry you are insensible to music now, Anna - that’s really difficult. I understand - been there. Please take good care of yourself.

check this tomasina:

it was send in the space to an eventual other space life :smiley:
do you think I can recover on emotions? is it a hard thing or meds can help me?

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Thank you for sharing, Anna. I enjoyed the vocals - interesting. Yes, most certainly, I have faith that you can recover your emotions. Keep working with your doctor/mental health team and continue posting here. I hear that you’re really struggling hard, but it can slowly get better. Have you found anything yet that makes you feel at least a little bit better? Something simple that you can easily do?