Yeah, i know i dont look fine. But i want to see those who struggles with the hell since child, how would they look also? you know, i was really unhappy child. i couldnt smile a lot, i was tormented by the illness and here now the meds. but yes, i dont look fine. My friends speak in my back that i look bad. My ex who dumbed me was asking me how i am gonna to survive when i look so bad because of the meds? there is the illness in my look too.
its sad in a way. I have tried too many meds for the past 7 years, i was the guinea pig of the docs… And some of the meds made me crazier, yes,yes…
I cant do sport now, i am not ready for this. some of you look really well here, i wonder how you do it… those meds are uglifying i find, lol…
can the love be stronger than the beauty one day? I also struggle to forget this guy of mine but i am dumb so sometimes i think of him. but it will be difficult with anybody else too. i wonder if i chock the people outside with my look lol… but i know that i should escape from this worry too one day.
otherwise, never heard from my father that i am beautiful. He wanted from me only good notes from school or he was getting angry. maybe i lived something that nobody should have lived…
I’m sorry about this. I would tell my daughter she’s beautiful every day from the day she’s born. I can relate to your post a lot, except I think the meds have been good to me. I guess I’m lucky, huh??? Doesn’t mean I still don’t struggle though. Me and my sister have the same genes, except instead of schizoaffective, she has chronic migraines and other health problems. Her health problems are worse than mine the past couple years. But she’s been in relationships for 16 years straight. Her boyfriends/husband are able to look past her health problems, but no girl looks past mine… I’ve never been in a relationship. Never had sex for free… Life isn’t fair to me. I’ve been very depressed and lonely lately. I think you’re pretty…but I know what it’s like thinking you’re good enough but thinking you’re not good enough at the same time. I get the same feelings all the time. Because deep down I know I’m good enough, but society tells me I’m not…Hmmm
yeah goyankees, never heard anything like this from my father. maybe finally i am hateful because of all this? i was a beautiful child, i dont see why he wasn’t telling me this. he never took me in his hands either. i think he was probably ill too. he was beating my mom and my sister. And my mom doesn’t believe in my recovery at all. She can be toxic sometimes. she says that ill never get better. but she is realistic too maybe. life with sz is a half life too sometimes. my case i mean… You are young goyankees, youll have a sex life dont worry 
Me i had a bit of it, not enough i guess but i am like a robot in sex also so i never got pleasure from it really. But its a good thing to have, yeap:).
The only practical thing I can think of is to get a bunch of sun and tan as much as you can. The vitamin D might help you feel better and tanning always adds a healthy glow. I know that I used to spend all my time indoors with no sun and now I’m more tan and look/feel much better. Just an idea. Tanning salons work too I think
oh, definitely. its not only the meds my bad look. I live in a dirty house, with no air and sun, smoking 2 packs of cigaretes per day. its where i am now. I had my demons of guilt in the past of living like this but i couldn’t change it so i made my peace a bit on it with the hope to change it in the future.
Thanks for the advice honey, the sun is great for us yeap, i miss it definitely…
@Anna1 I first started working out again on Saturday. I’m still sore today so it wont be till tomorrow ill do it again. But trying to get back in the swing of things and become in really good shape. Maybe you can try some light cardio, it will not only make you look better but feel better too. I hope I keep it up.
Another recommendation: quit the cigs and take up vaping. If nothing else, with the right setup you can get an even better nicotine kick
But do i look so bad? Am i chocking? i sometimes ask myself in the streets if people are chocked by my body…i am not just fat, i have no muscles…