I've only hallucinated twice in my life

The first time was when I was 19 years old freshly diagnosed, psychotic and un-medicated. I went for more than two days without sleeping and I was sitting alone in a chair at night and I started hallucinating wildly and scared myself pretty badly.

And last night.

I went to bed at my regular hour, about 10:00 or 11:00 p.m. I couldn’t sleep so I got up and killed some time in the dining room then came back and went to bed. It was about 1:00 a.m. and I had to get up at 5:00 a.m. to catch a cab downtown and then transfer to our local train to go to work. I had dented a rim on my car from side-swiping a curb so it was in the shop.

I was not sleeping well at all. I had drank a lot of liquid and I was up and down going to the bathroom. I finally fell asleep but not soundly.

And then…next thing I know, I’m hallucinating. I didn’t realize it at first. All of a sudden I did not know where I was. I was in a different room that I didn’t recognize. I was fully aware of what was going on but I couldn’t tell if I was awake or not. Then I was in third room wondering whose room it was and why I was in it… I did not know what was going on. I felt invisible. I felt I was wide awake but I couldn’t tell. Everything was bright and strange. I was thinking, " “What’s going on here”?. And I was frightened out of my mind and felt insane and didn’t know what was happening to me. It was insane but it felt as real as though it was very, very real.

Next thing I know, I was strapped into some kind of metal framework and I was on a track like a roller coaster, in completely new surroundings. My body was prone and I was encased in this metal car/framework so I couldn’t move. I was totally out of control. This sensation was so real that I was absolutely convinced that this was happening and I was terrified. I still felt wide awake but I wasn’t sure. Everything was bright like it was daylight. And then it ended. I woke up. I was in my bed in the dark. I looked across the room at my roommate . He was fast asleep. I was a little disoriented. I was just laying there trying to digest what just happened.

My bedroom walls are thin. A girl sleeps in the room next to us by herself on the other side of the wall. She’s new, I don’t know her well. I got a sneaking suspicion in my head that she had deliberately done something to drive me crazy. Its a crazy world. I ran into this problem many years ago when I was living on my own renting a room in a house. A Vietnamese girl (who actually liked me) was in the room next to mine. I got the vibe exactly once to let her alone because she was crazy and tried to scare me. How much can you tell through a wall? I need someone to answer that for me, because I’m not sure. She was not mentally ill.

She was the kind of crazy that she was either so frightened or liable to go off on someone physically. How much can you tell from a wall? You tell me. People are out of their minds when they want space and territory. i think you might know the kind of crazy I’m talking about. Anyway, in this current situation I’ve been thinking of it all day, trying to figure it out. Temporary insanity? Psychotic break? Too much stress without enough sleep? Or was the girl deliberately messing with my mind somehow? You tell me. I’m still trying to figure it out. Playing mind games is not unheard of in the mental health system. I do it myself sometimes.

I’ve been on these forums for years. For the “regulars” who know me here, you know I have never written anything like this before. I’m going to try to figure this out but I think the best thing is to pretend it never happened and forget about it. I’m not going to bother that girl, I don’t know if she drove me crazy or not. Weirder things happen in life than people driving one another crazy.

2 Likes

Hey @77nick77. Since you were in bed, do you think it might have been sleep paralysis?

Whatever it was, it had nothing to do with the woman next door.


.

1 Like

I read most of the article and some of what I experienced was similar to what the article talked about. But I don’t think it was sleep paralysis. I don’t know what it was and I’m just going to forget about it like it never happened. But it sure scared me.

1 Like

I have problems with seeing people and spiders when I sleep. I forget what it is called but it is related to sleep paralysis.

Hmmm maybe you were hallucinating but it could’ve been a dream mayhaps? Keep us informed if you keep having these symptoms. Also I agree with @Moonbeam the woman next door has nothing to do with this I’m like 99% sure. That you think so makes me wonder if you are suffering from a delusion. You should be careful if you keep thinking this and symptoms persist. You may need a change in medication or hospitalization. Also if you are schizophrenic you said this is the 2nd time you hallucinated do you only suffer negative symptoms like some on here(I think everhopeful)?

2 Likes

Yeah, it sounds scarey. If it happens again, let your pdoc know. If it just happens this one time, chalk it up to “just one of those things”.

1 Like

OK, thanks. I’m going to forget about it. It was probably caused by a lack of sleep, stress, caffeine, and the million other problems I got going on.

1 Like

@77nick77 You could have been half awake half asleep - Hypnopompic, Hypnagogic Hallucinations are common occurrences even among Normal folks.

I get them from time to time.

2 Likes

@Wave yeah that is what they are called that I get. They scare the crap out of me.

1 Like