I think it was the Elyn Saks video that was posted earlier on that set me off.
I’m stuck trying to make sense of it all. I’m trying to convince myself to put a positive spin on things.
But I’m basically looking back at my life wondering where I’d be without schizophrenia.
I can empathize @everhopeful.
I have no job, no girlfriend, I live paycheck to paycheck.
All I have is a little hope. And I try hard to hang onto that in this dark world.
Take care.
Without schizophrenia I’d be a doctor or professor or something.
It has robbed me of living a life.
So sad.
I get reminded by my sister all the time what could have been. Hopefully things will turn out alright
I get that too. I’m slowly rebuilding my life but I keep wishing I hadn’t been psychotic when I first went to college cuz there were some guys I met that I thought were really special but I ruined any chances of being with any of them because of my psychosis. I’m back at college but I’m like older than most and I just don’t have strong feelings for anyone at this point. I’m concerned that everyone will get married before I even start dating again.
I can really relate to her, at first i was a little apprehensive about watching her video but i’m glad i did, i was on the verge of writing something negative, which would have been wrong.
she does come across well, very inspiring and i can relate to a lot of what she says, esp the bit about trying to come off meds and not giving the illness any power as i try to do,
I have also decided to accept meds despite numerous attempts to get off which has been in vain 
@SzAdmin was it on the old forum we had a question and answer thing for her? i cant remember but i think all the information will be lost now 
she may have actually been a member here at one point x
I’m feeling a bit better now. I’ve done a lot of thinking though. Thanks everyone for the replies.
i think its better to look forward in life instead of back,
its easy to get sucked into the ‘what ifs’
it can drag you down,
I mean remembering the good times reminiscing is great if you can do that in a positive way,
I guess its different when its like ptsd’s and its flashbacks to trauma and hurtful times, that ■■■■ sucks bigtime.
I very often feel the same about my bipolar. I’d be a much different person without the disorder. I am still though putting effort to regain the shine of life I once had.
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