i tried to watch a ted talks on schizophrenia but it was making me feel bad, i just dont identify with it that much anymore,
i hope i dont cause offense but hearing other people talk about their illness makes me feel bad, it may be a trigger idk.
i thought if it was me up there on tv what would i say, i wouldnt want to talk about me, me, me all the time, i would have to talk about it in greater terms, i think there is a deeper meaning to what i have gone through, i am more than just a bunch of symptoms when i am off of meds.
I watched a Ted Talk with a young woman with sz. I don’t remember her name. It was ok for a one-time watch. Not super interesting. I guess i’m glad she’s doing well and out there doing what she’s doing. Hope it helps somebody.
I like Elyn Saks more but the first one was the top video and it just seemed so unreal to me and I questioned it, it’s nothing like what I went through so just could not relate,
i tried to watch the Elyn Saks video, i really like her but she started describing schizophrenia and i just couldnt watch anymore. maybe after all this time i still havent come to terms with it or on a brighter note maybe i have come to terms with it and i am trying to move on, look past this illness,
when push comes to shove i still take my meds and if i didnt i would go down hill, when she described sitting down in her apartment when unwell she describes what she said and i can empathise to an extent but still very different to my situation when full blown.
tbh idk why she has to go into so much detail about some of her episodes, i would not put myself in that position where i am describing it in that way,
its embarrassing, not just for her but it probably doesnt make us look that great either, as a fellow sufferer i would not want people to think any less of me bc of an episode i had one time,
i’d say it happened, it was a bad experience so lets learn from it and move on, i wouldnt share it with all to see, nobody really needs to know that much anyway, like do you think if you hit them with the worst that has happened, the most embarrassing moment it might convey the hopelessness of the situation and somehow avert a crisis in others?
i dont think everyone would see it that way, they might think that she is interesting or she is different, they might think 'i’d like to be as interesting and do crazy things like that, they might think that their life is so boring that they need to act different, go against the norms of society, challenge the whole concept of reality. its like she is glorifying mental illness (maybe)
i like her though bc she has sz and she has not let it stop her from achieving what she wanted to do, i do that as well, i may not have achieved my dreams as of yet but i make strides every day in that direction.
I think i’m being a bit hard on her, its not about glorifying mental illness its about raising awareness, i think there may be a fine line between the two.
i actually really like Elyn Saks, it would be great to talk to her.
She said she gets a lot of help from therapists, i get no help from anybody like that, our nhs does not have the resources for that and i’d rather someone who was more in need get the help so if anything i am bringing the waiting times down i think if i really needed it, it would be there.
my clubhouse is probably a bit like her workplace, i get support if i need it, it is intellectually stimulating and i feel useful, its also fun.
i liked what Eleanor Longden said, she sounds like my kind of woman, i like the way she identified with her voices and described how she interacted with them and how she was able to control them and see them for what they really are, the part of you that is suffering and is expressing itself and treating those parts of your inner psyche with love and compassion is the best way to manage her condition and it is very admirable that she has been able to deal with it and get through her masters degree, a truly inspirational woman.
i think if i really needed it, it would be there.