It's not getting better

I’ve been sick for years now and I feel like it’s robbed me of all my interests and hobbies and hope. Everything has gotten progressively worse for the past five years. I’ve tried countless medications and have been hospitalized countless times but nothing seems to help. I’ve decided that if I’m not better in half a year, I’m just going to deal with things myself, no matter who thinks it’s ‘selfish’ of me. This life is hell. Everyday I am in agony. My illness is just too much for me, and people should respect my decision to end things. I am not weak for giving up. I’m strong for lasting this long.

4 Likes

I understand you. but you must be patient. stay strong. we all suffer.

4 Likes

I have had a really hard time and in the last year finally am having happier life
I kept stopping and starting meds but now I have been on clozapine for twelve years and they stopped changing my medications
My progress is slow but I’m just saying you can get better

2 Likes

Yes, you are strong for surviving. Moving forward steadily is an achievement in itself. Reward yourself for accomplishing small goals @valiumprincess which will spur you on further. You may be right when you say this life is hell. But it would be far worse without you in it.

1 Like

@valiumprincess for me to cope with it,
my goal is just to survive.
This is my one and only goal.
Apart from surviving I need nothing.
No cognition, no hobbies, no friends no nothing.
Just surviving.
I am ready to live with constant insults, constant humiliation.
My motto is living is winning.

2 Likes

Everyone is different,

But for me, my symptoms kind of peaked around 19-23.

It was probably the worst off I’ve ever been, unable to manage the symptoms, didn’t know what kind of help to ask for, and had basically no coping skills.

Maybe you’re in a similar slump.

Things got better after I did a lot of therapy and CBT, now my symptoms are bad again, but I’m better equipped to handle it.

Being crazy is kind of a flaming roller coaster,

It has ups and downs,

You’re just so young that you’ve only seen the worst of it.

Hold on, you’ll see better days,

This illness doesn’t work on our schedules.

1 Like

Chess24
I like this idea "to survive"
I am going to make it my goal

2 Likes

@valiumprincess , I just looked at your profile to see your previous posts to get a handle on your situation.

You say in your profile “in a constant state of anxiety”. Have you tried L-theanine?

It not only helps with anxiety but it got rid of a lot of mental torture for me too.

@everhopeful no I haven’t tried L-theanine but I’ll try anything at this point. I will be trying to get some vitamins and supplements when my check comes at the end of the month.

Thank you everyone for your replies, I don’t want to seem like I want attention. I just woke up now after taking new meds for the first day and am feeling calmer then yesterday.

4 Likes

As I have gotten older I have lost that desperate, “Life is passing me by” feeling. When you’re young a lot of problems seem intractable, but they become easier to live with as you get older. I’ll never forget this. One time I heard this woman say that the key to living for her was to learn to love herself no matter what. See if you can work on caring more about yourself. Learn to love yourself. Don’t be mean to yourself.

3 Likes

Im like u erez my only goal in life is to die a natural death

2 Likes

Why are you desperate @crimby ?
I have made peace with the fact that I am a spectator, rather than a protagonist, in our world.
Just let go of your egotism and you’ll be fine.
Actually my advice is different from yours, my advice is to be apathetic to your own fate.
Like an observer.
Treat life like a basketball game, with you a spectator.
This is a great coping mechanism.

1 Like

I’m not desperate now, Chess. I’ve achieved a fair amount of happiness and serenity.

3 Likes

I am happy @crimby

2 Likes

Lol, well put. ■■■■ this life. At least we r young and have good chance of seeing new meds.

I am “apathetic to my fate” too. Not that i dont care, but like they say “dont worry about things that are out of your control” sz is out of my control and ultimately how i cope with it is barely managable and not for me to ’control’.

2 Likes