I have been seeing this guy for about two and half months. He knows I have schizophrenia but not the details of it I suppose. He lives an hour away from me so I only saw him once a week but talk to him on the phone each night and text all throughout the day. When I visited him I anyways kept my self in chec . You know trying not to do weird stuff. The most I did was through text when I was nervous gong to the Dr and I would rant about how I don’t trust him or how I think there’s cameras in my house. Other than that I thought I did good. But he was always supportive of me. But one day last week I said I was having a bad time with voices (which he knew about too) so we started to talk about my schizophrenia in general. Once I said it can’t be cured his whole attitude changed. The next day he started saying it was too hard on him. That he could deal with me now but if I got where he wouldn’t be able to be there for me. He said if I was normal it would have worked. That hurt the most. Then after that everything just ended. I can’t see how something can end just in one thing. Ive lost another relationship end because of my illness.
I think it just hurts to be rejected because of being different and I just keep hearing those words. That I’m not good enough. Of course it doesn’t help my voices. They comfort me and make me want to stay with them sand no one els . To seclude myself. Just very sad. I don’t fit anywhere.
You were lucky because that was not a real love. How old are you?
The world is full of couples who are diagnosed with something but supporting each other and you deserve nothing less than that.
■■■■ the majority.
My pdoc says only the special people that God knows could handle being challenged with your difficulties. Normal people just aren’t strong enough to handle it.
If he is stupid enough to reject you, he deserves to be alone. I don’t give the normals a chance to reject me. Their indoctrinated minds are too small for what I (and all of you) have to offer. Sz is a mind expanding illness. Those without the ability to wrap their minds around it are not worth my time.
Right now just eat some Ben & Jerry’s, and power through it. Exercise helps.
You will find someone who is worthy of you. I hope to find someone too.
I hate it when relationships don’t work out. You our always left with that horrible feeling, what do I do from here. Well. The answers is step toward even though it feels like knives underfoot. Because it will pass.