There are very few things in life as tough as having a psychotic condition. It doesnt make much sense how the human brain can go from normal and functioning until you turn 20 and then all of the sudden stop working.
I can’t believe that I got this ■■■■. I try to describe it to people and it doesnt make any sense. I used to be completely normal, I look completely normal still, but I’m a prisoner of my own mind. This illness took everything I had. I will never leave my mark on society because of it. I will always struggle says my doctor. Its like having asthma she says, it never goes away completely.
I don’t want to hear how its manageable, because I don’t like the meds. I don’t consider taking tranquilizers living, but the doctors told me that if I don’t take them i will be in and out of hospitals for the rest of my life. Its hard to believe that this is it. This is as good as its gonna get. Im so angry that I have this. Its like a nightmare that I can’t wake up from. I pray to god every night that they find a cure for psychosis.
I have heard that the symptoms can burn out with age.
Are you still young?
Im almost 40. It seems that the episodes are more frequent lately. Ive had it for 15 years.
they no longer have many state hospitals. people can live full lives, but someone has to advocate for sick people meghila. we got you down.
my uncle died in a state hospital in their care at 55. no reason he should have died
I can’t take the meds anymore, they are literally killing me, But I’m terrified of having another psychotic episode, Its a trap I can’t get myself out of, I don’t know how people do it. I want a ■■■■■■ lobotomy
you will get through it. meds have to build up in your system and stabilization could take years. i know for a fact it will get better for you. even if you didnt have your replase at the same time as everyone else in their 20s
You mean you don’t want to hear that recovery is real and that things improve for many, many, schizophrenics?
You might remember a little of my story.
Diagnosed at age 19, put in psych ward for two weeks then released to life in a group home for a year. I was psychotic and out of my mind. I had nothing. I had no job, no money, no SSDI, no SSI, no car, no Independence, no girlfriend, no friends, no school, no sanity for a year. Than put in locked hospital for 8 months to live with people who screamed all day, and argued, and fought. I got out at age 21 and moved into nice group home.
Now I’m 55 and looking back on working almost steadily since 1983, living independently for the last 20 years, having good friends, going to school, having cars and money. But when was 19 I had absolutely zero going for me. I’ll admit, life is a crap shoot and luck is important in recovery. But there are many people like me who have fought to recover, enduring suffering and suicidal feelings, psychosis, etc and came out the other end. Recovery is worth fighting for.
My favorite saying is from AA, “Don’t quit ten minutes before the miracle hapens”
Things change, things get better.
thanks Nick. Im happy for your recovery man
But there’s a chance it could be you.
I think it helps if you treat schiz with a little less respect. Say f**k it more and jump into something new.
thats a pretty novel approach, I like it though. My problem is that in addition to having some form of sza I have body dysmorphic disorder and OCD. This makes it very difficult for me to go out in public on the meds because Im super sensitive about how they make me look. Does that make sense? If they had better meds I might be able to care a little less.
I see. Take it step by step. I sometimes think i am ugly but I have worked with the public, and was treated like anybody else. If I was an ogre they would have said something. Its just the media telling us how to look.
yes, it’s a life sentence, and life is the shortest aspect to all of this.
And then guess what? A reset, you are alive once more, but this time guess what, you are perfect because of your previous experiences.
You guys are lacking in the miracle department these days, i say we bring it back, really let everyone know what can happen. I’ve seen a ■■■■ load of miracles in my day, other worldly supernatural ■■■■, and guess what, you are going to live.
And if we had souls why in the hell would we even care about any of this, hell i’d be ending it as soon as possible. I’d turn to stone and just wait if i had a soul, i’d never learn anything.
I make my own miracles.
I believe you actually, i think you do, but this is physical mankind miracles.
I’m talkin that ancient science bring us back to life and bestow immortality on us for no cost at all kind of ■■■■. It’s free, doesn’t cost anything at all.
You’re talking ‘later’ problems. I’m busy with ‘right now’ problems. More fun.
Can’t wait to see your miracles man.
Hitting a bullseye from a mile away while hanging upside down?
I can hit a bullseye at 70m with my Hoyt Olympic recurve riser with 70# W&W limbs.
I don’t know what that means. I’m going to assume it is some form of sorcery.
@MeghillaGorilla1 I think that I’m a lifer too. I hear some people get better though. Doesn’t help that medications cause an increase in the number of dopamine receptors in your brain. I worry that at one point my meds will stop working.