It happened again

After I made the post about creating other universes I almost passed out. I had to pray to my higher power and tell it I was sorry for thinking I was able to do that/or capable of anything beyond my human senses. Then the feeling of passing out and dying went away.

I need something to do that isn’t delusional or related to youtube or the news. I have trouble having faith in the healthcare system and doctors. I keep telling myself I need to continue taking the Abilify but Im scared that its just all fake…I used to have gov. paranoia and think things like that my dad worked for the shadow government (I know he doesn’t) It doesn’t help that politics got so gross the past admin and now…

My mom has celebrity type delusions…but mine are more real seeming, and allign too much with reality that they are harder to shake. I dont think I was microchipped/but that they were just taking a blood sample or something…but that delusion has persisted with the fear and keeps building…
also why am I almost passing out? Last night I had another seizure like experience too. I felt this surge of loud noise and buzzing in my head, and my whole body was buzzing while asleep.

I dont want to slip into delusional thinking. I guess I’ll try and sleep more or watch a movie. Maybe I should try to go outside or go for a walk again…

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I find that going on a walk really helps me clear my head, almost like meditation. I usually bring music along, too

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I have lots of things that i do that take my mind off of myself, its nice not to think and just do something for others, even artwork which is very self expressive shouldn’t just be about your vision it should be about what you want others to see (however good or bad) like my end result is what can i do to make someone think and feel good or wonder, the hope is that it has a knock on effect.

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