I’m not finding my life fulfilling. It’s not that things aren’t going well, I’m just questioning whether I have purpose or not. I don’t think someone really needs a purpose, but I feel like I do. I wish I was just more comfortable with existing instead of striving for things I feel like I can’t have.
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Sounds like anxiety
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You’re human, we all want something we can’t have.
That being said, I’m sorry you’re search hasn’t bore fruit just yet.
When was the last time you made your own purpose? Something you can call your own?
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I don’t know how to really find a purpose. I try to do everything well, and sadly I’m a perfectionist, always have been. Being a perfectionist is very hard with an illness like this. I guess part of my problem is that trying hard in all aspects of my life isn’t really paying off yet. It just feels like my goals keep getting farther and farther away.
Don’t you volunteer at a clubhouse? Or am I remembering wrong? Apologies if I am
I do. I also am a full time student. I somehow handle both. I guess I wish I could hold a real job, but for now that isn’t in the cards
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Isn’t in the cards? How would you find the time?!?
Dude you’re handling more than I can. Your an inspiration, that’s a full time job. Your school will lead you into a full time job someday. A good job hopefully, and a more fulfilling life.
I think you have a very good purpose, Helping by volunteering, and your studies.
I’m actually a bit envious of you.
I’m sorry you’re suffering right now, But I see a lot of life around you and think you can pull out of this.
Would it help to have a llama say he’s proud of you? You work hard, and it shows. Keep it up dude. You’re finding your way
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Thanks, it means a lot. I guess I’m just depressed that I’m not where I wanted to be at this point. I should be proud of myself though.
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Ah see that’s from judging yourself against others too. Yeah stop that. Lol 
Your path is your own, as fast or as slow as you need. This disease slows us down. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t still moving forward
This song seems fitting. Get some punk fire in you! Yeah!
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@Ooorgle I think you’re a really kind & encouraging person & you should be proud of that. Those qualities are all too rare in people & should be recognised more, they are great strengths. Much more important than being in a position of power & earning big bucks imo.
@Air yeah it does sound like depression. At 26 I had a fancy, white collar, high-end professional career. I was successful & got recognition & had this big reputation. I hated all of that & found it totally empty & unfulfilling, I was bitterly disappointed that all my life I’d worked to become that & that the result was so awful, I felt duped. So lonely. That was because I was clinically depressed (and psychotic but that’s by the by). Also because career just isn’t important to me, the most valuable part of my life is relationships. I learnt that the hard way. These days my career is very simple & my relationships, especially friends, are my top priority. My purpose is to be a good friend & have good friends, love & be loved.
You mentioned you have good friends & are dating - how come you don’t find them fulfilling. Do you feel genuine connections with those people.
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Thank you Phoebe
Rich in heart, mind, and soul…those are what I want.
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I do find my friendships very fulfilling. I love my friends even though I don’t have a lot. Just a few really close ones. Dating isn’t going so great. I’m not finding a lot in come with the people I’ve been going out with.
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Your friendships sound wonderful. Do your friends have any career advice? I have 20 years of work to look back on so it’s hard for me to imagine what it’s like for you, very young & yet to graduate & begin professional work.
I wonder if your anxiety/depression about your purpose might be helped by taking some practical steps… write your resume, research real-life jobs & employers, network with some people who are working in the jobs you hope to get, see if any of your friends want to share-house with you. might take some of the mystery out of the future that seems to be bothering you. is there anything holding you back from taking practical steps?
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It just takes a lot of time. A lot of my friends are a bit behind me and are working crap jobs while they try to make their way through school. I’m not comfortable moving out yet, I want to wait until I am stable stable. I’ve applied to some internships but I live over an hour from the nearest tech hub so it is a bit hard to find opportunities without moving. It’s great you can handle work, that is the hope for myself and I think I can. I went out for karaoke last night and am feeling better. Being around nice people really lifts my spirits
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glad you’re feeling better 
yeah, good company is good tonic.
You’re ahead of your friends’ careers & are already across the job market? in that case imo it is definitely perfectionism & depression warping your perception. I used to suffer from perfectionism & it robbed me of healthy satisfaction when I succeeded & achieved goals.
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