I’m a very spiritual person lately. It helps me to sort of make sense of the suffering I go through. It doesn’t seem so bad when you see all the crazy things going on in the world lately, politically (though I avoid those conversations like the plague)
Anyhow, i’ve been trying a few things lately, one is that i’ve been off antidepressants for a long time now, and i’m on a low dose of antipsychotics. I still find myself pushing it with these though, even though i’m on a small fraction of what I used to be on.
Part of me feels like i’m a bad person for taking these medications and I shouldn’t need them when they have such serious side effects. Although I know for a fact how bad I am when i’m completely off medications.
Another thing i’ve been trying lately is practical things. I’ll be living on my own here very soon, and realized with this limited disability money how difficult it will be to get started driving again. My car is still in the works and I do think all the struggle it will take to get it going again is gonna make me appreciate way more, it’s just that I can remember how things were when I was younger. And literally just pulled money out of thin air and had 6 cars in a year and a half.
Just kinda tired of the feeling that things are getting more and more difficult instead of easier, and makes it kinda hard to hold onto hope although I do.