Introduction 2

DX'd - Sz/SzA
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Hello everyone I diagnosed schizophrenic. I’m 22 and after trying really hard I’ve been able to stay not institutionalized and haven’t been blue papered in over a year. I think reading the bible and getting a pet cat has helped turn things around for me. I’ve been able to keep a few friends but who wants to be friends when somebody who is routinely in crisis? Overall I am generally ashamed of myself.

On top of schizophrenia I have a rare sleeping disorder that I haven’t had officially diagnosed yet. I think it is non 24 hour. I feel like I have no reward center in my brain. All I can feel in life is pain and suffering. I think it would be wise for me to kill myself but there is a stigma around that much like smoking pot so I refrain. I am too suborn for that.

I don’t react well to any medications. The only thing doctors have ever been able to do for me is sew me up and give me antibiotics. No other treatments for any of my problems have ever worked.

I think I have developed a pretty good idea about what people accept as reality or not. So I filter myself a lot. I used to be a straight A student and had big plans for myself. I was sure I would go to college in computers. If I could go to college now I would study nano technology. But none of that is possible for me now.

What I find really frustrating is people telling me I can do things that I can’t. It’s like telling a person in a wheelchair they can run 10 miles. It’s pretty easy to do.

Not sure what else to talk about. I wish they had some really good medication they would give me. Something that would make me feel amazing all the time and be really healthy for me. But all they have is gross ■■■■ that will literally give me paralysis because it’s so sedating. I am so disappointed in the doctors who have lied to me giving me false hope.

I have had so many shots you have no idea. The medicine they forced me to take in the hospital made me feel horrible horrible horrible horrible horrible horrible. So when I refused to take it they restrained me and give me a shot.

I get so frustrated.

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Hi and wecome @eeee. I’m sorry you have had such a hard time of things.

1 Like
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Welcome @eeee, nice username :slight_smile:

Sorry you feel like you can’t accomplish much, hopefully reading some stories here you will feel better about yourself and try to go to college, it’s been helping me a lot seeing a lot of people try and succeed. :relaxed:

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If nothing else laugh…

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Keep taking your medications and take it as a reward when you come to the stage where you no longer think of killing yourself. If your nurse read that post you could end up in hospital for a comment like that. Keep on taking those medications alright.

Cheers,
Possessed

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hi again. don’t want to say any cliches about how it will be good and stuff, but keep your head up. It often takes time and some courage to make things work again. At least that’s my case. I hope that soon you’ll be able to get on track again. Step by step and take yur time. Believe me, it’s possible.